Yikes!

Wow!  Yikes! Holy Cannoli! Wowzers! I'm not sure how many other phrases I can come up with, but that's a good start.  I'm referring to how easy it is to get off track.  I just spent the last several days enjoying Christmas with family.  I was away from my home and away from the gym. I was very much out of my routine, both workout wise and food wise.  I ate the food that was prepared for me.  I tried the desserts without working them off.  I definitely made some poor choices and now I have some catch-up to do.

Luckily, I am confident that as easily as I slipped out of my norm, I'll slip back in.  But, it occurred to me just how easy it is to get off track and how quickly you can spiral out of control.  In reality, we're only talking about 4 days.  But those days, combined with our thoughtful neighbors and their goody trays, made for some rough patches.  It's pretty scary to think about how much damage you can really do in 4 days.  Not necessarily intentional damage, but damage nonetheless.  Tomorrow being December 28th, I'm getting back to the gym and back to good eating.  But, in the past I might not have done that.  I might have waited until the first of the year.  However, just think of how much more damage could be done if I waited another 4 days!! That's where I can truly see that the "behind the scenes" work is paying off.  I can now honestly focus on the day to day, vs. waiting until a season is over.  As tempting as it is on 12-27 to say that I'll just live it up until January 1st and then get back on track at that point, I know I can't do that.  I know that I need to take one day at a time.  As quickly as I slipped up the last 4 days, I shutter to think what would happen if I allowed myself to wait another 3 days.  I've worked way too hard to let it go like that!

I'm Doing It!

In regards to the transformation feature that I talked about in my last post... I'm doing it!  I'm going to talk to the manager of the gym (the one who mentioned it in the first place), and I'm absolutely going to do it!

Now, this decision definitely wasn't made lightly.  I'm going to ruffle a few feathers.  I'm not sure how such a small weight loss is going to be accepted, knowing that there are so many people who have lost more than I have.
That being said though... why shouldn't I be featured?  I feel like I represent
a lot of other members who maybe don't have as much to lose.  Just because we don't have 100 extra pounds, it doesn't mean that our success should be any
less celebrated.

I also feel like I have a story to tell.  Unlike when I did it with Weight Watchers, I'm being transformed from the inside out.  I've had to battle with, and conquer 20+ year old demons.  I've been forced to deal with the issues and insecurities that made me overweight in the first place.  It's been a daily, sometimes hourly struggle.  But, I'm doing it.  I feel like there might be at least one person who could benefit from my story.

It's going to be uncomfortable.  I'm not one for being in any kind of a spotlight.  But, I'm going to do it.  I'm flattered to have even been asked.  I'm proud of my accomplishments.  I'm proud of the behind the scenes work that I've done.  And most of all, I'm proud of the fact that, despite obstacles, I'm still going.  I didn't quit.  Regardless of how long this takes, I'm going to finish what I started.  I'll be sure to share it if/when it happens!

Food For Thought

I had a very cool thing happen to me on Saturday.  I'm still trying to process it and figure out if I'm going to do anything about it.  Since I'm pretty open here, I thought I'd share...

I was at the gym Saturday morning with my son.  He's actually working with my trainer to help him improve his running form and speed.  (That has nothing at all to do with the story, I just think it's cool that my trainer is working with him!)  I was there in street clothes.   A pair of jeans and a button-up shirt.  Nothing exciting, but it was a little fitted.  So, anyway, the three of us were in the gymnasium portion of the gym when the gym manager comes up to us.  It's important to note that I've known her (the gym manager) since I was in junior high.  Without giving specifics, I've known her for a very LONG time.   She comes up and says "hi" to my son and then pulls me aside.  She told me that she didn't even recognize me!  She asks if I'm still losing weight and tells me that I look great.  I thank her and acknowledge that I've had lots of help, as I point to my trainer.  She then mentions something about being spotlighted and sharing my transformation story as a promotion for the gym.  I kind of laughed it off and told her that I wasn't sure about all that.  But, I haven't stopped thinking about it...

First of all, I was thrown off at the fact that she said she didn't recognize me.  It's only been a couple months since I've seen her and I'm always in regular clothes when she sees me.  But, for whatever reason, she saw me differently Saturday than she had before.  Secondly, I'm not sure I'm a good candidate for a transformation story.  Mostly because I'm not done yet!  I'm still most definitely a work in progress.  Lastly though, I feel like there are so many people who've made much bigger changes than I have.  I feel like they should focus more on someone who's lost more.  The last guy who was highlighted had lost an amazing 100 pounds!  100 pounds!  I haven't lost anywhere near that, nor do I have anywhere near that to lose.

So, I'm torn.  I talked to my trainer about it this morning and he sees things a little differently.  As far as focusing on other people who've done more, he feels like too often people focus on the numbers vs. the results.  Sometimes when people have 100 pounds to lose, it comes off a little quicker and easier than those of us who don't have that much.  I've lost 37 pounds, but I've fought for every. single. pound.  Hell, I've fought for every single 1/2 pound!  So, maybe my 37 pounds, coupled with all the weight training and body "sculpting", really truly has transformed my body the same way their 100 pounds did for them.  I don't know...

Also, I'm not typically someone who likes a lot of attention on them.  Yes, people have mentioned that they can see that I've lost weight, etc., but to have a video and/or publication done about me?  Not sure I'm ready for that kind of attention. It's definitely given me something to think about.

 

Long Overdue Update

I just found out that a friend of mine has started to read here (Hi Katie! :-) ), so I figure it's way past time for an update! Unfortunately, not much going on.  I haven't updated because I haven't had anything to update.  Weight wise, I'm still stuck.  In fact, I've decided that this time of year I'm not going to even try to lose weight.  I'm just going to hold on for dear life and hope to at least maintain during the holidays.  Since I now know that new people are reading, I really will try to do a better job of updating!  Have a great week!