Out Of Control

I'm in a bit of a slump right now.  Maybe not a slump, but definitely at a frustrating plateau.  I'm stuck just short of the 30 pound mark.  But, I think I've figured out why... I'm now 1/2 pound away from the weight I was when I left Weight Watchers.  Right before I gained it all back.  So, I think I have a bit of a mental block with that particular number.

After a few weeks of frustration, I finally talked to my trainer about it.  (At the point I talked to him, I was actually 1 pound away...) Anyway, his first question, of course, was how was I eating.  I'm eating fairly well.  He wanted to know if I was writing things down.  I told him that I'm tracking it online.  So, the next question was "Can I take a look at it?"  My answer was "no".  I trust him to talk to him about a lot of stuff, but I'm still a little uneasy about laying it all out there to be judged.  I should add that my head knows that he won't judge me, but my ego isn't quite sure yet.  Luckily, he knows me well enough to know that this wasn't something that could be pushed, so he dropped it.  Since I was definitely frustrated, and quite frankly, pissed off, we headed to the punching bag so I could work off my anger.

Fast forward a few days and I mention that I'm still 1/2 pound away from 30 pounds.  I didn't understand why at first, but he asked me how often I was weighing myself.  I just said that I did it way more than I should.  So, between training sessions, my homework was to put my scale in the closet and not step on it until our next session.  It's only 3 days, but I have to tell you, it feels like
an eternity.

The thinking is that I'm driving myself crazy stepping on the scale as much as I do.  I know I shouldn't, but I do.   I want to see the change in the number.  Good or bad, I want to know exactly how I'm doing all the time.  If I'm up even 1/4 pound, I want to be able to fix it.  I need to know every morning that I'm still on track.  I need to be rewarded every morning for having a good day the day before.  And, he's right, I was driving myself absolutely crazy!  But, without my scale, I feel like I have no control.  I feel like if I wait a few days, I won't be able to "right the ship".  So, to compensate for having no idea where I am right now, I've been adding extra cardio to my workout.  I figure that since I don't know if I broke that 30 pound mark or not, I'm going to do some extra work to make sure I do.  Truth be told, that was probably part of his plan.

However, tomorrow is the day.  I'm pulling that bad boy out of my closet before I go to bed tonight, so I can hop on tomorrow morning to see how I've done.  But, from what I've learned about myself over the past few days, I think it's going right back in the closet after that!

Week In Review

I have really been slacking on my posts lately.  I do promise to try and be better about it!  Anyway, I'm down another pound this week and slowly but surely inching my way to the 30 pound mark.  I'm super excited!

I feel like I need to explain a little about why I'm not blogging nearly as much.  It's a good reason, actually.  This blog started out as a way for me to vent.  A way for me to share my struggles and work through them.  A way for me to vocalize the insecurities I was having.  However, I'm not going through that anymore.  I'm not blogging as much because, for the first time in my life, I get it.

I'm no longer focused on losing a certain amount, I am focused on being healthy.  I'm no longer focused on being thin, I'm focused on being fit and strong.  I'm no longer struggling with insecurities with my trainer.   I no longer stress about having a bad day.  I'm just in a really good place right now and I don't need to vent any more.  I'll still be writing here from time to time, but for now, it's kind of served its purpose.  It was a great tool for me in the beginning, but I'm just not the person I was in the beginning.  And for that, I'm super excited, too!

An Aha Moment

I've been seriously debating whether or not to continue this blog.  Not because I don't enjoy it, because I do.  But, because I know who is reading here.  I know that you're all my Facebook friends, so you pretty much read everything there.  But, then a moment like yesterday happened.  It's something that really hit me, but not something I really want to share on Facebook.  So, for that reason alone, I'm going to keep blogging.  With that, let me share my "Aha" moment...

Last night my husband finally told me that he noticed my weight loss.  He noticed that my body was starting to change.  However, it was what he said next that got me thinking.  He said "soon you're going to be the skinny girl you were before we had kids."  He was right and wrong.

Yes, soon I'll be smaller.  But, I'll never be "skinny" again.  The reason I was skinny was because all I did was lose weight.  I did nothing to build muscle.  This time around, I'm not just dropping weight, I'm building muscle and transforming my body.  So no, I'll never be that skinny girl again.  I'll be the muscular, fit one!

Week In Review

I've really been slacking on my blogging duties lately.  I'll start with the business at hand and let you know that I was down a pound last week.  I've officially signed up for the Team Pounds Pool at the gym, so I now have 3 other people that are counting on me to lose weight consistently for the next 8 weeks.  We'll see how that goes...

On another note, I have a confession.  I am in love with Pinterest.  More over, I'm in love with all the motivational things you can find on there.  I've found so many examples of things to strive for.  Whether it's workout related, food related, or just plain believing in myself, with every "pin" I make, I'm striving to be that type of person.  Slowly but surely, it's happening.

Week In Review

Sorry if I'm a little late on my week in review.  I've actually been sick.  My little one was nice enough to share strep throat with me.  So, as you can imagine, I haven't felt up to doing much.

That's a good transition into my 1.4 pound loss last week.  I'm sure it has less to do with how I ate and worked out and much more to do with my lack of desire to eat over the weekend.  Whatever the reason, a loss is a loss and I'll take it.

Starting this week, I'm in another pounds pool at the gym.  This time it's actually a team of 4.  So, I'll have to report my weight once a week, along with my team members.  This adds a lot more pressure for me as I don't want to let down the rest of my team.  Hopefully I'll have some good numbers to add to our total in
8 weeks. I hope everyone has a great week!

Taco Soup

It's been quite a while since I've shared a favorite recipe, so I thought I'd do it today.  This is, yet again, another Weight Watcher recipe that I absolutely love.  It's delicious and crazy, easy to make!

1 Can Black Beans
1 Can Chicken Broth
1 Can Fat Free Re-fried Beans
16 Oz. Jar Salsa
1 Can Corn
1 Small Can Chicken
Taco Seasoning (I use about a half a package, but use as much as you like to make it as spicy as you like!)

Combine all the ingredients in your pan and just heat!  I can't tell you the exact calories of a cup of soup, but I do know that it is 2 points on the old system, so it can't be much!  Enjoy!

Week In Review

I ended up gaining a pound this week. :-(  Not happy about it, but I'm over it.  I'm sure it's because I really was rotten about tracking my food.  Hopefully it will be a quick turn around and I'll be back down this week.

I feel like it's been a little while since I had a workout to write home about.  Well, today was one of them.  I always love when we leave the weight room and do something different.  Today we grabbed the boxing gloves and I hit the punching bag for a while.  We also grabbed a jump rope.  Something I haven't done in years!  I also got a break from the 70 pound kettle bell and just did good old, plain squats.  Those 3 activities, done one  after the other for 30 minutes.  Probably one of the best, most fun workouts I've had in a while!  I hope everyone has a great week!