Revelations

I was thinking again about the post I wrote yesterday and how disappointed I was in my results.  That also got me thinking about how disappointed I was in the way I handled it.  Actually, I'm not sure which was more upsetting to me.

Typically, I'm the type of person that doesn't show much emotion.  If something is bothering me, I do a pretty good job of covering it up and dealing with it in my own way.  So, the fact that I let my guard down and showed how disappointed I was, really got me thinking.  That's when the revelation hit.

When you continue to do what you've always done, you'll continue to get what you've always gotten.  It's something that my WW leader repeated time and time again, but it's the first thing that came to my mind. If I would have done what I've always done, I would have just gritted my teeth and walked out without him knowing I was upset. But if I did that, he wouldn't have had the chance to explain to me what everything meant and subsequently explained why the results were actually better than they looked. If I would have done what I've always done, I wouldn't have voiced my disappointment. I might have gone home, frustrated, and eaten my way to the bottom of a carton of ice cream. But if I did that, I would have hated myself for doing it.

So, in that moment of weakness when I let my feelings show, some good came from it.  I now realize that maybe that's one of the things that I need to stop doing.  Keeping things inside leads me to eat.  Letting things out causes me to feel those feelings and deal with them without food.  I never thought I was that kind of eater, but I think maybe I am.

This lengthy journey has been full of ups and downs, that's for sure.  Along the way I'm learning a lot about myself.  It's been an interesting ride to say the least, and I know it's not over yet. Who knows what other little nuggets about myself
I'll uncover!