Done Deal

You may remember that I mentioned a little while back that someone from the gym wanted to feature me for some gym publications. (You can read it here if you'd like.)  Well, the deed has been done! Yesterday, a photographer and marketing guy joined in on one of my training sessions and snapped pictures.  It was complete with lights, screens, light filters, the works.  It was very uncomfortable and a huge leap out of my comfort zone.  Thankfully my trainer was with me. He talked to me like he always does, which helped me take the focus off of the man on the ground snapping pictures of me.  After about an hour the photographer finished and the marketing guy asked me a simple question.  "What was your fitness goal when you started?"

So, now I wait.  The plan is for them to replace the cover photo on my gym's Facebook page.  There is currently a picture of another member (who also trains with my trainer, I might add...).  They took a big variety of pictures of me doing various things, so I'm anxious to see which one they pick.  I have no idea when they'll post it.  I guess I'll find out with the rest of the people on Facebook!

Where, Oh Where Has My Willpower Gone

...everybody sing along.  Where, oh where has my willpower gone?  Oh, where, oh where could it be? Where, oh where has my willpower gone? Bring back my willpower to me!

I'm finding that I'm having a very hard time going from tracking my calories and worrying about weight, to just making good choices and letting the weight take care of itself.  Hold on. Let me re-phrase that.  I'm not having a hard time doing it, I'm just having a hard time doing it well.

I really am trying to turn that corner.  I'm not getting so obsessed with my weight and I'm just focusing on working out and making good food decisions.  Except when I'm not.  That's where I seem to be missing the willpower I once had. The small, yet very real, 3 pound weight gain is telling me that something isn't right. When left to my own devices, I"m not doing so well. When I get more comfortable with just "trusting the process", I get more comfortable in all my other choices.  While I may think that I'm on track with my calories, etc. for the day, in reality, I don't think that I am.

There's a fine line between obsessively tracking your weight and calories, and tracking enough to stay on track.  I need to find my happy medium.  I need to get back to the eating habits of when I was losing weight, but not get back to the obsessive, constant weight checking that went along with it.  I need to get back to exercising a little more of my willpower, but not stressing over every single bite.  I know I can lose the 3 pounds I've gained. I just need to figure out how to make it happen without getting back to old habits that I've fought so hard to get past.  I guess we'll see how this goes...