Thank You, Thank You

Some people have a hard time saying "Thank You".  I'm not talking about saying it you when something is given to you or when something is done for you.  I'm talking about saying it when someone pays you a compliment.  I learned quite a long time ago to take a compliment, say "thank you" and be happy with that.  I probably learned it because I got so tired of hearing people combat a compliment with a self-criticism.  For example, someone tells you what a beautiful voice you have and you come right back and tell them about the section of the song that you screwed up.  Someone tells you how lovely your home is and you come back and tell them that you wish it was better.  We all know people who do this.  Maybe even some reading right now.

Well, for whatever reason, yesterday I received several compliments on how I was looking.  Now, in my head, I know that my weight isn't down at all (which you'll see on tomorow's update...).  I also know that because my head was in a funk this week, I only made it to the gym twice.  I was guessing that I looked a little more trim because, quite honestly, I had my shirt tucked in.  I never do that.  But, yesterday I did. Anyway, all these things are going through my head, but I never said them.  Instead, I took all the compliments in and smiled and said "Thanks".

Everyone who gave me those compliments truly meant what they said.  They saw something that I didn't see ~ or feel.  That's the beauty of seeing things through the eyes of others.  Maybe it was because my shirt was tucked in.  But, maybe it really was my work at the gym finally showing up.  Maybe it was that they hadn't seen me in a while and they noticed the overall 17 pounds while I just think about the last few weeks.  Who knows?  What I do know is that I'll take a compliment any day and I'll say "Thanks" and smile!

Rowing Update and Other Stuff

First, I'm back.  I needed a few days to wrap my head around what happened.  I'm not there yet, and I doubt I will ever truly understand when a child earns their angel wings.  However, I know I need to get my head back in the game,
so here I am.

As far as the rowing update, I added another 5,000 meters to my total.  But, I gotta admit, I'm sweating this "Row the River" challenge a bit.  It ends on August 14th so I still have time.  However, I still have A LOT of meters to try to get in before the deadline.  Regardless of the timeline, I'll still finish.  I might not finish it by August 14th, but I'll keep updating my meters until I get there!

Since we're talking about rowing, I have to tell you about a common thing happening with the rowing instructors this week.  They're not rowing with us!  Normally, the way it's set up, the instructor's machine is in the front and the rest of the machines face it.  It works out well when the instructor is actually rowing!  But, a couple of the instructors have injuries that prevent them from rowing and our instructor this morning was getting over a cold and needed another day of laying low.  So... they walk around and watch everyone's numbers.

Now, I'm not saying that I slack off when the instructor is rowing with us.  But, they can't see our pace or our stroke rate when they're on their own machine, so it's a little less stressful.  However, lucky me, for most of the class he chose to park it behind those of us in the back row.  I jokingly said that if he doesn't move he's likely to get an elbow when I "drive" back.  He took that opportunity to tell me I needed to keep my elbows in.  I also might have mentioned that the rowers in the front row needed a little attention.  That didn't seem to do the trick either!  It definitely forces you to be on your "A" game when someone is standing over your shoulder watching you!

I should mention that I joke around with this instructor all the time.  I'm really not one of those people that complains during a class.  Joke?  Yes.  But I always do the work.  And, just between you and me, I needed that today.  As nervous as it makes me to have a fitness person watch me work out, I needed to be pushed.  And, since I will be starting my personal training after vacation, I really need to get over that fear.  Today was a good start!

Ice Cream for Dinner

Yep, I did.  We had a super late lunch on Sunday and the kids had an evening commitment.  So, the hubby and I were sitting around and decided that we weren't hungry enough for dinner, but could use a little something.  A "little something" turned into a trip to the local ice cream shop.  Not the best decision I've ever made.  But, it is what it is.  Like I promised in the beginning, it won't always be pretty, but it will be real.

The Week In Review

I'll start off with the good news.  I think I'm down another 1/2 pound! :-)  The reason I say "I think", is because I was out of town, so I weighed in on someone else's scale.  I do think it was pretty close to where I had been, so I'm going to go with it!

On to other subjects...  I had decided that I was going to keep the focus of this blog strictly weight loss.  And, for the most part, that will be true.  However, sometimes there are things that happen in my personal life that will affect this journey.  Sometimes I'll share it and sometimes I won't.  However, I'm pretty sure that 99% of the people who read this are real-life friends and family, so it will come as no shock when I tell you that my heart probably won't be in this for the next few days.  For anyone who might not know, some friends of mine have just recently lost their 3 year old little girl.  No parent should ever lose a child.  It just really forced me to take a look at what's important in life, and in the grand scheme of life, the weight I have left to lose just isn't that important.

That being said, yes, I'm going to keep going.  Yes, I'll eventually get re-focused. No, I'm not throwing in the towel.  For a few days I just need to hold my kids a little tighter and not fret about exercise or calories.  In the mean time, take time to appreciate all the things in your life that make you happy!

Questions

I've had several people ask me how my training is going, so I feel like I need to clarify things.  Although it's in the works, I haven't started with my personal trainer yet.  I have to wait until we're back from our vacation before I start.  I also have to wait for the planets to align and for the paychecks to fall in the right place! Like so many others, unfortunately money is a factor in when I can start.  But, it should be soon ~ like after the 4th of July.  I've been talking to the trainer quite a bit though, and he knows what my goals are.  As much as I'd like to just focus on my arms, I know that's not an option, so my lower body will be getting worked as hard as my upper body.  I'm both excited and terrified.  But, mostly I'm excited!

Rowing Update and Other Stuff

I'll start the post with my weekly rowing update.  I've added another 8700 meters to the challenge.  I'm really not sure I'm going to make it by the middle of August (when the challenge is done), but I'll keep going until I finish, regardless of how long it takes!

Second, I'd like to share a recipe with you today.  This is one of my absolute favorite "summer" salads.  I suppose it could be eaten year-round, but for some reason I only make it in the summer...  Unfortunately, I can't ell you exactly which cookbook it came from, but I can tell you that it's a Weight Watchers endorsed recipe.

Corn Salad

1 Bag Frozen Corn (Thawed & Drained)
1/2 Red Pepper - Chopped
1/2 Onion - Chopped
1/2 Cup FF Mayo (I use Miracle Whip)
1/2 C. FF Sour Cream
2 tsp. vinegar
Dash Creole Seasoning

Mix all ingredients together and chill.  For those who may follow WW, 1 Cup of this salad is only 2 points!  It's delicious!  I do add a little more than a dash of creole seasoning, but I'd try it first to see how it tastes.  Enjoy!

Mirrors

I'm not a big fan of mirrors.  Especially when I'm working out.  But, that's the nature of a gym.  In the aerobics studio in my gym, the front and back walls are covered, floor to ceiling, in mirrors.  I avoid being in the front or back row because I just don't like to watch myself.  However, this morning I joined a friend and was smack dab in front of the mirror.  I've got to say, it's interesting what goes through my mind when I'm doing a step workout in front of a mirror.

For some reason I was drawn to the shirt I was wearing.  There was nothing very special about it, just a white shirt I got when I did the Race For The Cure last year. Actually, it wasn't the shirt itself so much, it was the size of the shirt.  It was huge on me.  And, in my opinion, it looked pretty frumpy.  So, while I should have been paying attention to my step, I start looking at the shirts that everyone was wearing.  None of them were frumpy.

So, I start to wonder why I chose that shirt.  I'd guess the main reason is comfort. It's big and comfortable and safe.  I have lots of shirts the same size.  But, the truth is, it didn't do me any favors.  In fact, it really didn't look very good.  It's funny because it seems that it's easier to cover my insecurities with big clothes, when in fact, I think it looks worse.  I really don't need to wear a shirt that big.  It really doesn't fit.  I just thought I felt comfortable in it.  In reality, when I was forced to look in the mirror at the gym, I felt very UNcomfortable.

I think it's time to stop hiding.  It's time to step out of my comfort zone and step in to clothes that fit me.  I've held on to that size clothing for a long time because it's what I've always worn.  I need to get that out of my head.  I'm just not there any more.   So please excuse me, I'm going to change my shirt!

Taking The Plunge

For a long time now, I've been considering working with a personal trainer to help kick start my weight training. Like I'd mentioned before, I'm burnt out from my weights class, so I really need to change things.  I know that working side by side with a trainer will force me to push myself.  Let me re-phrase that... the trainer will be the one pushing me, I just have to do the work!  But, it's going to be much harder to slack off if a trainer is right there next to me.

However, just needing a change isn't my only motivation.  I've been blessed to be asked to stand up in a wedding in the fall.  The dress I chose is strapless, so I need to make sure that my arms are looking fabulous before I put that dress on!

I know that it won't be easy.  My upper body is far weaker than my lower body, so it definitely needs more work.  My triceps in particular need serious love.  That's one of the reasons I've put this off for so long.  I know I'm going to be doing things that will force me to work these weak muscles.  I know it's going to hurt.  I'm sure I'll be sore for several days afterward.  But, I know it will all be worth it!

A family Affair

Since having kids, I've been very blessed.  First and foremost, I'm blessed to have healthy children.  Now, keeping them healthy, that's a daily challenge.  We're very lucky because our kids love their fruit.  I won't go so far as to say they love vegetables, but they do like them and there's usually no fighting when it comes time to eat veggies.  In fact, over the summer we have a "snack of the day", which is a heaping plate of either a fruit or a vegetable, and the kids snack on it throughout the day.  That has worked great, by the way.  My kids eat.  All the time.  So, having a huge snack out helps in two ways.  First, it's healthy, so I don't worry about them eating too much of it.  Second, it's always out, so they don't have to constantly bother me about getting them something to eat!

Exercise seems to be a little harder to fit in every day.  Now, this time of year is much easier.  We just finished our soccer season and are drawing close to the end of baseball season.   Both of my kids have sports sprinkled throughout the course of the school year, which keeps them (and mom and dad!) pretty active. However, summer poses a different challenge for us.

Yes, they go outside to play every day. However, we are very fair-skinned and even with sunscreen, we burn.  So during the summer, our time outside is limited. We need to be a little more creative when it comes to exercise for them.  I've actually started doing exercise videos with the kids and they love it!  We make it fun.  I have a ton of videos to choose from, so they get to pick which video we do and then we do it together.  Some days it's Richard Simmons, some days we're Walking Away the Pounds, some days we're running to the Wii Fit.  Whatever!

Yesterday my husband and son were at the batting cages, which left my little girl and I at home.  She suggests that we take the dogs for a walk.  We had just eaten, so the idea of fighting with my dogs and their leashes didn't appeal to me that much.  But then I thought to myself ~wait a minute, she wants to get out and walk.  It's great exercise for her, me, and the dogs, what are we waiting for?!  So, we got our shoes, grabbed the dogs and had a nice walk.  On our walk we were talking about what a good, healthy choice she made to get out and walk.  She smiled and said "I know."  Maybe this healthy stuff is actually sinking in! ;-)

The Week In Review

Can I get an "A" to the "Men" and an "Oh" to the "Yeah"!  Finally, the scale has gone down a bit!  I'm down a half a pound for the week.  I admit, the celebration might be a bit much, but hey, I'm happy about it!  Given the events of the week ~ 3 baseball games, 1 soccer game, 1 field trip, and 2 nights too hot to cook so we went out to dinner ~ I'm thrilled to be down!

I had a WW leader who used to equate every 1/4 pound to a stick of butter.  So, buh-bye to 2 sticks!  People tend to complain if they "only lose a half pound" or "only lose a pound".  At my old WW meetings, they had an actual pound of fat (actually I think it was rubber, but none the less, it was disgusting to look at).  Anyway, any time someone complained about only losing a pound, the WW leader would take that pound of fat and ask where they'd like to put it back on their body.  That being said, I don't want those 2 sticks of butter anywhere on my body again!  I'm hoping everyone else had a good week :-)

Traveling Journal

Back when I was in Weight Watchers they had something they called a "Traveling Journal".  Whenever someone was stuck in a rut, they would take the traveling journal, write down everything they ate for the week, then bring it back in to class.  The idea being, if you had to actually show your instructor what you ate for the week, you'd do a much better job of eating and would most likely lose weight that week.  I guess the fear of public humiliation does wonders for weight loss!  I'm not positive because I'll do my official weigh-in tomorrow.  But, it seems as though I might be stuck for another week.  I'm considering doing a blog version of the traveling journal.  I stress the word considering.  I'm really not sure that I have the guts to put it all out there like that.

Let me also say that I really don't want to do it.  I mean, I REALLY don't want to do it.  I'm just trying to think of something big that might help me kick myself into high gear.  And, truthfully sharing every bite I'm taking over the next week would certainly kick me into gear.  I just don't think I'm there yet.  Maybe just telling myself that I'll do it if I don't get going soon, will be enough to work!  I guess we'll have to see how I do the next few weeks...  

The Little Things

I'll start this post with a rowing update.  This week, I've added another 9600 meters (5.9 miles) to my challenge. Even if the weight loss slider isn't moving right now, at least my rowing slider is going in the right direction!

Now on to finding joy in some little things.  I made a trip to Old Navy yesterday to pick up a $10 dress for my daughter and some shirts for the rest of the family. While I was there I decided to look at something for myself as well.  I found an adorable halter type shirt.  So, I'm searching for an XL or Large in the color I want.  Unfortunately I couldn't find one.  So, I grabbed a Large in a color I didn't particularly want, but then grabbed a Medium in the color that I really wanted.  It was worth a shot, right?  Well, much to my delight, the Medium fit!  And, it looked good too!  It's the little things in life, like knowing the shirt you're wearing is a medium when you normally wear a large, that makes me smile :-)

My New Love

I have to tell everyone about the new love in my life.  Actually, it isn't new, I discovered it quite a while ago.  But, I'm still hooked!  For all my coffee drinking friends out there, may I suggest McDonald's Sugar Free Vanilla Iced Coffee.  It is 90 calories worth of delicious!  I drink it so much in fact, that I find myself going to different McDonald's, just so they don't see me at the same one all the time! ;-) Even if you're not a coffee drinker, you'll love this.  If I'm being honest, there is more vanilla flavoring and cream than there is coffee, so it's a perfect drink for everyone!  This is actually my little guilty pleasure.  I make sure I drink lots and lots of water before I allow myself to have one. But for only 90 calories, it's a great treat!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

My thanks to David Bowie for the title of this post!  Anyway... I'm changing some things up a bit!  For the last year or so, I've been attending a weight class 3 days a week.  This class directly followed my step/spin classes.  That made for a 2 hour chunk of time at the gym, and for quite a while, I was doing well with it.  But, I'm the type of person who gets bored with the same routine over and over.  I'm very willing to change things if they're no longer working for me.  When I get bored with long hair, I chop it.  When I get bored being blonde, I go brown.  I think you get the idea.  Well, that weight class just isn't doing it for me anymore. So, I'm going to go it alone.

Now, I do still really enjoy the group classes.  Since every class has an instructor, I feel like I'm getting the extra perks of having a personal trainer, without actually paying for a personal trainer.  So, I'll be sticking to the step, spin, and rowing classes.  But, for whatever reason, I'm burnt out with the weight class.  Maybe 2 hours is too long to be at the gym.  Maybe I'm so beat after my cardio class that I'm too pooped to participate.  I don't know.  But, I know that I'm just not into it anymore.  So, a change is necessary.

I'm going back to the good old gym floor to do the workout that was originally designed for me.  Change is good!

An Aha Moment

I have a confession to make.  Going back to my Weight Watcher days and until recently, I would do a huge dis-service to myself in my weight loss journey.  After my weigh-in day, I would eat like there's no tomorrow, knowing that I had the entire week to work it off.  And, I'm not talking just eating a little extra.  I'm talking driving straight from my meeting to McDonald's and ordering a Big Mac combo, complete with fries and a coke.  That was just lunch.  Chocolately snacks, usually a candy bar of some kind, came mid afternoon.  Dinner was a take-out or drive through of some kind ~ with fries or something equally greasy.  Then there was dessert.  Almost without fail, my husband or I would go to the local ice cream store and I'd get a peanut butter cup flurry.  Not a small one either.  All of this thinking that I'd have an entire week to un-do whatever damage I'd done that day.  What a backwards way of thinking!

I still don't know why I would do that.  It makes absolutely no sense.  In my head I could justify it by saying that I had earned it.  I'd worked so hard (or not) that week before, so my reward would be to shovel in as much as I could possibly stand in one day.  Really?  Eat like a pig to reward yourself for eating well the week before?  Huh???

It occurred to my recently just how screwed up that was.  Don't get me wrong, I knew all along it was screwed up.  But, it now makes perfect sense why I kept bouncing back and forth between the same few pounds.  The truth is, I was never losing actual weight.  I spent my entire week undoing what I'd done that one day. How could I possibly lose any new weight if I was continuously working to lose my "splurge day" food?  Duh!!!  I'm embarrassed to admit that this just occurred to me.  I guess I'm little slow.  But, I'm getting there...

Yesterday was another weigh-in day, but I didn't do overdo it this time.  In fact, I was quite good!  Now, I will admit that I wanted to make an ice cream run last night.  I really wanted it.  But, I put some flavoring in a bottle of water and drank that instead.  No, it wasn't the same.  However, after a while, I forgot about the ice cream.  And I feel so much better for it.  Like I said, I'm a little slow, but I'm getting there!

The Week In Review

Well, this week has been full of doctors appointments, sick kids, school functions and reflections.  I've decided that I'm definitely going to keep going.  In the short time I've been doing it, I've come to really enjoy blogging.  To begin with, I wasn't sure if anyone would even read it.  But, whether anyone reads or not, it's still therapeutic to be able to share my thoughts and vent my frustrations.  And, I'm just happy to know that others are right there with me on this journey.  :-)

Now to get to the other business at hand.  I'm still stuck.  I didn't gain or lose this week.  I know that I still haven't been nearly as good about my eating as I should. So, I'm challenging myself this week.  My challenge is to journal every day.  I'm going to keep track of everything I eat.  As much as I hate to do it, I know that it is extremely helpful.  Hopefully I'll see some good results by this time next week! Wish me luck!

Rowing Update and Other Stuff

I'll start with the easy part of the post.  I added another 5100 meters (3.17 miles) to my rowing challenge!   Now on to the harder part...

The reason I haven't posted in a few days is because I didn't have very much to say.  In fact, I thought a lot about whether or not I even wanted to keep going with the blog.  In my experience, a weight gain here and there is just a small part of the overall journey.  However, now that I'm blogging about it, I'm not handling it quite as well.  Especially since I just started.  It would have been one thing to have a gain when I was a few months in.  But, I've only been seriously doing this for a few weeks and I've already gained a pound.  It's a little embarrassing to say the least and not exactly putting my best foot forward.

But, I decided to keep on keepin' on.  It is what it is and I'm trying my best to be honest about it.  Gains and all. While I'm not offering the best example right now, I'm hoping at least I'm getting some props for keeping it real.