Mirrors

I'm not a big fan of mirrors.  Especially when I'm working out.  But, that's the nature of a gym.  In the aerobics studio in my gym, the front and back walls are covered, floor to ceiling, in mirrors.  I avoid being in the front or back row because I just don't like to watch myself.  However, this morning I joined a friend and was smack dab in front of the mirror.  I've got to say, it's interesting what goes through my mind when I'm doing a step workout in front of a mirror.

For some reason I was drawn to the shirt I was wearing.  There was nothing very special about it, just a white shirt I got when I did the Race For The Cure last year. Actually, it wasn't the shirt itself so much, it was the size of the shirt.  It was huge on me.  And, in my opinion, it looked pretty frumpy.  So, while I should have been paying attention to my step, I start looking at the shirts that everyone was wearing.  None of them were frumpy.

So, I start to wonder why I chose that shirt.  I'd guess the main reason is comfort. It's big and comfortable and safe.  I have lots of shirts the same size.  But, the truth is, it didn't do me any favors.  In fact, it really didn't look very good.  It's funny because it seems that it's easier to cover my insecurities with big clothes, when in fact, I think it looks worse.  I really don't need to wear a shirt that big.  It really doesn't fit.  I just thought I felt comfortable in it.  In reality, when I was forced to look in the mirror at the gym, I felt very UNcomfortable.

I think it's time to stop hiding.  It's time to step out of my comfort zone and step in to clothes that fit me.  I've held on to that size clothing for a long time because it's what I've always worn.  I need to get that out of my head.  I'm just not there any more.   So please excuse me, I'm going to change my shirt!