I think I'm on the verge of a breakthrough. Or maybe it's already happened, I don't know. What I do know is that I'm ditching my scale. For at least a month, maybe forever, we'll see. Stepping on it day in and day out is making me crazy. And, if I'm being honest, I'm stepping on it multiple times a day. It's ridiculous and it's got to stop.
Not only is it driving me crazy, I know it's not telling me the whole story. On top of that, it's making me freak out about things that I shouldn't freak out about. Let me explain...
It's driving me crazy... because it's driving me crazy! My OCD forces me to step on the stupid thing every time I see it. So, if I can't see it, I can't step on it. Problem one solved.
It's not telling me the whole story. Clearly, the scale can only reflect a number. It can't reflect how hard I'm working. It can't reflect how my body is changing. It can't reflect the muscle I'm building. I can't allow myself to get hung up on a number any longer. So, if I can't see the number I can't get hung up on it. Problem two solved.
I'm freaking out about things I shouldn't freak out about. This one's a little harder to explain. I'm starting to really stress out about the future. When I reach my goal I feel like I won't be able to justify working with my trainer anymore. As much as I rely on him to guide me and help me through some of the emotional baggage I'm dealing with, I genuinely enjoy working with him. I look forward to my sessions. After a year, we get along well and the sessions are as much fun as they are work. I'm not ready to give that up just because I reach a certain number. So, if I stop focusing on the scale and reaching an ultimate "number" goal, I can start to focus on making this a forever lifestyle change, which will include fun workouts with a trainer. Problem three solved.
So, for September, I ditch the scale.
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