A New Healthy Normal?

I've got a few things I need to get off my chest today.  To begin with, I missed another goal.  I'm not thrilled about it, but it is what it is.  I never shared it here, but I had set a goal of making it to the 40 pound mark by Jan. 14th, 2013.  I set that goal because on Jan. 14th of 2012, I hit the 25 pound mark.  It should have been no problem to lose 15 pounds in a year.  It should have been easy, but it wasn't.  It didn't happen.  This leads me to the title of the post...

I've been stuck for quite a while now.  Now, I accept the fact that we just came through the holiday season.  Between my schedule, my trainer's schedule, my being sick, kids being home from school, traveling, and my daughter getting her tonsils out over break, I didn't hit the gym nearly as hard as I wanted.  I get that.  I've kept my head above water since Thanksgiving, but that's it.  Nothing more.

I hit my 35 pound mark in August and I've yet to lose the next 5 pounds.  It's so frustrating!  Before I continue, I will admit that I know this last little bit will be harder than the rest.  I know I don't have much more to lose.  And, these last pounds have been with me for a long time.  A very long time.  But, it's frustrating none the less.

So, I took this frustration to my trainer yesterday.  We're going to be doing a little tweaking to my workout schedule, but we're not going to worry much about food right now.  It is something that will eventually need to be addressed, which I am dreading, but just not yet.  But then he told me that my body is probably at "a new healthy normal" and it's comfortable where it is.  To which I responded...
"this can't be it!"

This can't be it!  I still have the "mom pooch". I see myself naked so I know there is still weight to be lost.  I still don't have a flat stomach.  I'm still not down to the goal weight I set for myself.  I still don't see my weight loss when I look in the mirror.  This can't be it!  I haven't worked this hard and gone through this emotional roller coaster to have this be where it ends.  I refuse to accept that.