Happy Dance

I am super happy right now.  I just found out that I have a whole extra week to weigh in for the Pounds Pool at the gym!  I'm already well on my way to losing what I gained last week.  So, this extra time is sure to guarantee that I'll come out of the challenge weighing less than when I started!  Doing the happy dance!

Back In The Saddle Again

It sure felt nice to be back at the gym today.  Although it had only been 3 days, when you're not eating or sleeping very well, 3 days without working out can feel like an eternity!  It also felt really good to start tracking my food again.  No particular reason why I had not been tracking the last few days, I just wasn't. Fortunately, just from tracking my food yesterday, I already noticed a weight loss.  So, I'm even more confident that I can absolutely get back on track and make up for whatever damage I did over Christmas!

Week In Review

I've got some serious work to do.  I have gained 1.6 pounds and I'm not very happy about it!  Yes, we are deep in the heart of the Holiday Season and goodies are abundant.  Yes, gym time has been at a premium since I've had lots of commitments with the kids and their school functions.  Yes, with the kids being off school for 2 weeks, gym time will continue to be hard to get.  But, that's not why I'm upset about the gain.  I'm upset about the gain because I was actually doing well.

I was making everything work.  My weight was still down despite lacking gym time and looming goodies.  But, in the course of the last week or so, I blew it.  I stopped keeping track of what I was eating.  I was eating late in the day and eating often.  So, a 1.6 pound gain is what I've gotten.

Fortunately, I'm confident that I can turn it around quickly.  I hope to report a good loss for next week.  It's definitely time to get back to work!

Merry Christmas!

Just wanted to do a quick post to wish you all a Merry Christmas!  I will be doing my "Week In Review" update tomorrow.  I hope you're all enjoying time with the people who mean the most to you! :-)

(Middle Of The) Week In Review

I'm going to do a (middle of the) week in review because I'm a little flustered right now.  Although it's a habit I'm trying to break, I do still weigh in every morning to make sure I'm on the right track.  Unfortunately, I'm not liking what I've been seeing the last few mornings.  I seem to be up about a pound and I can't account for it.

It wouldn't bother me if I didn't have a little money riding on it. But, I do, so it does.  As you may remember, my gym has a Holiday Pounds Pool where you pay $10 at Thanksgiving and then as long as you maintain or lose through the holidays, you'll get your $10 back, plus a portion of the money from those that didn't do as well.  I honestly don't remember what my weight was the day I weighed in for the pool, but the fact that I'm up a bit now doesn't bode well.  The Pool ends the first week of January, so I don't have much time left.

And, like I mentioned, I can't account for it.  I checked the calendar and I can't blame mother nature for this little gain.  Aside from not doing great with the fruits and vegetables, I can't really blame my eating because it hasn't been horrible.  And, while I'm no longer working with a trainer, I am still going to the gym and doing my best to follow the weight routine he gave me.  I don't know.  It's just frustrating.

I don't have a problem accepting a little gain when I know what to pin it on.  But, when I'm stumped, it bothers me. I guess I just have to keep plugging away and doing what I know to do.  Hopefully everything will fall back into line and this is just a little hiccup.  Crossing my fingers that it all gets taken care of by the time I have to weigh in again.

Week In Review

I'm happy to share that I'm down another 1.2 pounds!  I managed to do this in spite of myself, too.

We had our first Christmas party of the season last night and I fell victim to the same thing that gets me every time.  The bowl of M&Ms.  Stupid bowl of M&Ms, I can't seem to stay away from them!  But, I did make it to the gym yesterday morning, so I'm guessing I did enough there to counteract my M&M issue.

This upcoming week is going to be tough as far as the gym goes.  I have parties in the kids' classrooms and last minute shopping to take care of.  Not to mention making goodies for the neighbors.  So, getting to the gym is going to be a challenge.  I either need to decide to be there ridiculously early in the morning or most likely not at all.  So, I guess early morning it is!

Preemptive Strike

'Tis the season for crazy eating.  Like every family, ours has a certain food that we only eat once a year.  I come from Bohemian roots and our family's certain food is sour kraut and dumplings.  The sour kraut  is the only semi-healthy thing about this meal.  The dumplings are ridiculous.  And, back in the day, it was cooked with a side of salt pork and the grease from that was poured on top of the dumplings to help them slide down.  My grandmother changed it up a bit and used bacon grease, but the concept was the same.  And it was delicious.

Well, today is the day when the sour kraut and dumplings are being served.  This year we didn't use any grease, so that should make them a little less horrible.  While I know it isn't possible to work out enough in the morning to counteract these dumplings, I sure gave it a good shot this morning!  Luckily, this meal sits so heavy that I know I'll be full pretty quick.  I'm going to try to focus on visiting with family and less on the dumplings.  Wish me luck!

Interesting...

There is an interesting phenomenon going on in my world right now... I seem to be eating less!

While I totally understand that that's the point, I seem to be doing it without trying.  I'm not sure if it's because I just am not as hungry these days or because I'm working so hard at the gym that I have no desire to overeat.  Whatever the reason, I am eating less and that's a good thing!

Week In Review

I'm happy to share that I lost .4 pounds this week!  While .4 doesn't sound overly exciting, I'm thrilled with it!  This has been a very busy week at my kids' school and I had evening commitments most of those nights.  Couple that busyness with being at the gym by 6 a.m. 3 mornings last week and you've got one exhausted mama!  So, the fact that I was able to lose anything last week is a huge deal.

I have also completed my last session with the trainer, so I'm now officially
on my own.  In all honesty, I don't really think I'll be on my own.  I've got lots of people at the gym that are going to make sure that I don't slack off during these few weeks.

There's also something new that I heard about yesterday that I'm tossing around in my head.  The gym is offering a package where you can buy training sessions and meet with a dietitian.  This actually works out to be a little cheaper than just meeting with the trainer.  Money wise, it's a good deal.  Whether or not I feel like I can openly discuss my eating without feeling uncomfortable, that's another story.  I already know what I should be eating, I just don't always eat what I should.  I just don't know if I want some skinny chick to tell me how to eat.  I know that's horribly judgemental on my part and I shouldn't think that way. But, I do.  I guess it's something to think about.  I hope everyone else had a great week!

Choices

I've got a bone to pick with McDonald's.  Yes, I went to McDonald's.  Anyway, I grabbed a Happy Meal for the kids and ordered apples with it, like I always do.  They had gotten something wrong, so I asked them to confirm my order.  They repeated it back to me and I wanted to make sure that I had apples in the Happy Meal.  I was told that they now put apples and fries in their meals.  So, I tell them, "please don't put the fries in, I don't want them."  You would have thought I had 2 heads.  They of course put apples and fries in both meals.

What the heck!?  Not that McDonald's is the best choice in the world, but I'm trying to at least cut out some garbage by giving my kids fruit instead of fries, and they won't do it!  What's the point of putting both foods in for the kids?  You completely defeat the purpose of putting in a healthy alternative when you insist on including the unhealthy fries as well.  Ugghh!

Week In Review

This has been a good week.  I ended up losing 2 pounds, so I lost what I gained last week and am back on track.  We still have a few weeks before our family's Christmas parties start, so I'm hopeful that I'll make some good progress before that time!

I'm also very happy to share that I have made the first step to tearing down these walls that I have built.  I finally talked to my trainer about everything.  It took me a long time to get there, but I finally got there.  We made many, many laps around the track while we talked.  I spilled it all.  I started back with the day in the office when I wouldn't do the fitness assessment and just kept going from there.  It was a huge step for me, but I'm glad I took it.  He can't truly help me make these changes if he doesn't know what's going on in my head.  Now he does.  All of it.  Although it was really difficult, it felt good to get it all out on the table.  I'm really looking forward to the next leg of this journey!

Support

Today I'd like to brag about my hubby for a bit.  Since I started, this blog has been all about me.  But, without my husband's support, I'm not sure I'd be able to do this. He's seen me fat, he's seen me thin.  He's seen me try the diet pills.  He's seen me do Weight Watchers.  He's seen it all and has supported me the entire time. But, his support goes so much farther than that. You see, I think I've pinpointed why I'm having such a hard time sharing my struggles with my trainer...
It's because he's a he.

I've been married for 13 years, but we've been together for 17 years.  In those 17 years I've never really opened up to a guy that wasn't my husband.  I just never thought it was acceptable or appropriate.  Now, don't get me wrong, I have male friends.  We talk about lots of stuff, but it's current.  Nothing that digs into my past.  I believe that you share that kind of stuff with a spouse or a girl friend.
Not another male.

I've talked with my husband about my struggles and he's been wonderful.  But, he gives me "husband" answers.    So, we had a long heart to heart last night.  I needed to hear from him that it was alright for me to share this stuff.  I needed to hear that he was o.k. with it.  I needed him to know how conflicted I was about the whole situation but how important I think it is for me to push through this wall. Not only is he o.k. with it, he totally gets it.  He completely understands.  He understands my hesitations, but agrees that I need to do this to finally rid myself of these insecurities once and for all.  I have his blessings and 100% support.
I married an amazing man.

Going It Alone

I love Christmas!  It is my favorite time of the year.  I love the decorating, the lights, the parties, the time with family, the gifts, everything.  But, Christmas, and everything that goes with it, costs money.  This time of year every spare dollar we have goes to Christmas gifts and such.  That includes any extra money I've been spending at the gym.

So, I had to do the responsible thing and stop my training for the time being.  And I'm scared to death.  Next week is the end of my sessions until after the first of the year.  I don't doubt that I'll still be in the gym doing my rowing/step/spinning classes.  But, I'm afraid the weight training is going to go by the wayside.  It won't be intentional, but I'm just afraid it's going to happen.  And I'm scared to death.

I just don't feel like I do as well by myself.  I didn't get the same results by myself.  Aside from the bridesmaid dress, that's the reason I signed with a trainer in the first place.  I just wasn't getting results on my own.  But, it is what it is and you do what you've got to do.  We'll see how this goes...