This

"Every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to this"

~This  (Written by Darius Rucker)

I've liked this song since the first time I heard it.  It rings so true.  You go through different seasons and events in your life and they end up leading you to where you are at the moment.  I always thought about this song in terms of past relationships etc., but I heard it again today and it took on a different meaning.   It was something that my trainer mentioned when we had our heart to heart a few days ago.  He said that if I hadn't been laughed at, and quit as a result, I wouldn't have been where I was right now. And he was absolutely right.

It actually was a series of events that led me to where I am right now.  It did start with that meeting though.  From that point on, I wasn't happy there.  So I decided that instead of spending my money on WW and not losing weight, I would spend it on a gym membership.  My first choice was a Fit Zone here in town.  I was pretty excited about it because, not only did it have weight equipment, it had some free to member classes.  Plus, it was just for women, so I figured I'd feel comfortable there.  The initial sign-up fee was a little large and the 2 year contract was bit of a sticking point, but nonetheless I decided to sign on the dotted line and join.  The day I went to Fit Zone to sign my contract, they closed their doors.  Permanently.  There was literally a sign on the door that said they were closed.  If you looked in the window, all the equipment was gone.  So, I went home and called the gym  where I currently have a membership.

I knew that on the day of my orientation I would have to be weighed, have my body fat analysis done, and have my fitness level judged.  I was secretly hoping for an older, overweight woman to do my orientation.  What I got was a fit, 27 year old guy.  That guy became a familiar face when I went to the gym and then that guy went on to become my trainer two years later.  And this whole process of cleaning out my closet, tackling my demons, and dealing with the weight from the inside, started. 

So, while I hate having to re-live past experiences, they all played a part in getting me to where I am now.  And where I am now is finally dealing with the things that have held me down for years.  

"...All the things I knew but I didn't know. Thank God for all I missed, Cause it led me here to this."