Well, That Was Awkward...

Before I start with my awkward story for the day, I'll let you know that I rowed 5,000 meters this morning.  Again, there's NO chance that I'll make the goal by August 14th, but I'm going to keep plugging away and tracking my meters until I do get there!  Now, on to the awkwardness...

I know I've mentioned that I was a Weight Watcher member for years.  I left for a number of reasons.  The first reason was that I was bored.  I'd been counting points since 1998 and I was just tired of it.  I had been doing it for 10 years and I really felt like I'd taken away everything I was going to get from WW.  Secondly, I was stuck.  I seemed to be playing with the same few pounds for months.  Not unlike what I'm doing now...  But, the third reason was money.  Yes, I'm still struggling with the same few pounds, but it's not costing me $12 a week to do it.  Now, don't get me wrong, $12 a week isn't horrible.  But, I felt like my money would be better spent on a gym membership, which I did.  The final reason I left Weight Watchers is a little more personal...

I was having a particularly hard week and it took every ounce of energy I had to just show up at the meeting that morning.  During class our leader asked if anyone had anything they wanted to talk about, so I chimed in. (Now, let me say right away that I loved my leader.  She had a genuine concern for everyone in the class and she really wanted us to do well.  So when I continue, I want you to know that she was never the problem!)  Anyway, I was telling the class how I was really struggling.  When I lost weight the first time I was 23, worked full time and had no children.  This time around I was a 30+ year old, stay-at-home mom and it was completely different.  I never knew how much harder it was to lose weight after you turn 30 and have a few children.  If I didn't mention it before, I was REALLY struggling.

I'm almost in tears talking about everything and I hear snickers from the back of the room.  They're laughing at me.  Then the comments start.  "If you think it's hard when you're 30, wait until you're 60!".  "You're worried about turning 30... you have no idea..."  I think you get the picture.  I was devastated.  Was I 60 years old?  No.  Did I have as much weight to lose as they did?  No.  Were my struggles just as real?  Absolutely!  The instructor tried to "reel them in".  She tried to get everyone re-focused.  She stressed the fact that everyone's struggles are legitimate, no matter where they are in their journey.  But, the damage was already done.  I was looking for re-assurance.  I was looking for inspiration.  I wasn't looking to be laughed at.  So, I bit my tongue to stop the tears from flowing.  I sat quietly through the rest of the class and I never went back.

I tell you all that background to tell you that I saw my WW leader today.  I was dropping my daughter off at dance camp and there was a WW meeting going on.  The same meeting I used to go to 3 years ago.  It was nice to see her and she said she thought about me often.  I was hoping to be at my goal when I ran into someone from Weight Watchers, but that wasn't the case.  We had a nice little chat and I told her that finances were the main reason I left.  I decided to spend my money on a gym membership and that I was going about weight loss on my own.  We chatted for a few more minutes and she had to go back in to start the meeting.  It was a little awkward because I knew the real reason I left her class.  I think deep down she knew it too.