I'm Exhausted

Since high school, I don't remember a time when I wasn't trying to lose a few pounds.  Whatever the fad diet of the time was, I tried it.  I ate the cabbage soup, I took the appetite suppressants, I read the books, I counted points, I did it.  And to some extent, I had success. However, after time I'd get bored  with the process and gain the weight back again.

To be fair, I did have success with Weight Watchers, so I definitely want to give credit where credit is due.  I lost 55 pounds before I became pregnant with my first child.  That being said, my two pregnancies were the happiest 18 months of my life.  Yes, I was thrilled to have my children... but, I was also thrilled to have a built-in excuse to not have to lose weight!  But once the babies were born, it was right back to weight loss mode.

Fast forward to today and why I'm stuck in a rut.  When it all comes down to it, I'm exhausted.  It's exhausting to do this for so many years.  It's exhausting to have every waking minute be focused on fat and calories.  It's exhausting to live your life chained to a scale.

But, it's also exhausting to worry every summer about whether or not your shorts from the previous year will fit.  It's exhausting to constantly shop for shoes and purses because you really don't want to try on clothes.  It's exhausting to pull out a dress for a special occasion only to have it be too tight.

Yes, I'm exhausted.  But, this is a battle that I will keep fighting!