Today's post is probably going to make some people uncomfortable. So, I apologize in advance if I step on anyone's toes. The subject is something that I had struggled with for years, and I know a lot of others do too. However, I've since "recovered" from it, so it's now a huge pet peeve of mine that I feel needs to be addressed. Deep breath... Here we go...
If you would have asked me 15 years ago, I would have told you I was fat and gross. Heck, even if you didn't ask me, I threw it into a conversation anyway.
"If I wasn't so fat..."
"If my stomach weren't so huge..."
"If my thighs weren't jiggly..."
"My butt is way too big to fit..."
"If I wasn't so heavy..."
The list could go on and on. And, almost without fail, whomever I was talking to would respond with "You're not fat..." "Your butt is fine..." "Your thighs look great..." I had great friends in college who would lift me up when I got down on myself. But the self-criticism didn't stop. I never missed an opportunity to let people know that I knew I was fat and didn't look good. And my friends never missed the opportunity to tell me that it wasn't true. I honestly didn't realize at the time how horrible it sounded and how sad it really was. It wasn't until I lost my weight the first time that it all made sense. I wish I could remember who helped me come to this realization, because I would give them total credit. But, one day, I started looking at it from the other person's side.
It would bug the hell out of me if someone continued to tell me how fat my friend/family member was. I definitely wouldn't keep my mouth shut! I'd defend them and tell the accusing person to shut their pie hole. In essence, that's exactly the position in which we're putting our friends and family. Honestly, what do we expect them to say when we're criticizing ourselves? We want them to tell us how good we look. When in fact what they should say is shut up and do something about it! It's exhausting to constantly listen to someone criticize themselves. All it really does is put our friends and family members in a very uncomfortable position.
It's taken me a long time to get to this point. But, now that I have a daughter, I'm so glad that I'm here! I don't want her growing up thinking that it's o.k. to constantly put herself down. I want her to know that she's awesome no matter what. I don't want her to depend on others to build her up. I want her to be able to find her worth within herself. And that's what I want for everyone who's reading this. Stop the cycle of self-criticism. Stop putting yourself down. Start to realize that if you're not happy with your weight (or whatever it is), then do something about it!
I'm stepping down off my soap box now.
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