The Week In Review

This post is brought to you by the good, the bad, and the ugly...

The good is that after a heart to heart with a friend, I think I'm on the road to figuring out why I'm struggling with so much right now.  It's becoming a little more clear why I didn't go through these same issues with Weight Watchers.  It's also becoming more and more clear that the only way to truly break through these walls is to open up to my trainer.  I need to trust his ability to lead me through this.

The bad would be my food choices the last couple of days.  I did well with Thanksgiving, but not so good with the 2 days afterwards.  I think my bad choices Friday are directly related to my staying up all night shopping on Thursday night.  I was exhausted and I really didn't care what I was putting in my body.  Saturday's choices?  I've got nothing to pin those on.  That was all me.  Those choices bring me to the ugly of the week...

A 2 pound gain.  Not much else to say about that.  I know I'll kill it this week, so I'm positive that those 2 pounds will be gone by this time next week.  I hope everyone else had a great week!

Thanksgiving

A belated Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!  Hopefully you all had a wonderful day!  I am actually fairly happy with my dinner decisions.  I did go back for seconds, but I went back for seconds on sweet potatoes, so it could have been much worse.  Yes, the sweet potatoes were sweetened and most likely cooked with butter.  But, they were still sweet potatoes, so I'm totally taking credit for that!  In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit to having a piece of apple pie.  But, that was it.  I didn't overdo it on the mashed potatoes and I didn't overdo it on the stuffing.  All in all, I think Thanksgiving dinner was a success!

I'm Done!... Now What?

I finally rowed the river!  Now what?

I've been rowing my heart out for months now.  I've gone to extra rowing classes and have made rowing a part of my cardio program since last summer, all in the interest of getting extra meters to meet my goal.  Now that I'm here, what's next?

To be completely honest, I don't really love rowing.  But, it's become a habit now.  I re-arranged my usual schedule to fit in the rowing classes.  Now, those rowing classes have become a part of my usual schedule.  I'm not sure I could drop them even if I wanted to.  That's the funny thing about these group classes.  When you go on a consistent basis, you're missed when you're not there.  Instructors and members of the class will ask you why you haven't been around.  And, on the flip side, since they have become such a habit, it feels a little strange to not be there. So now what?  Even though I'm not tracking meters anymore, I guess I keep on rowing.  Darn habits!

Week In Review

This has been an interesting week. To begin with, I lost what I gained last week, and then some, with a total of loss of 1.6 pounds.  I'm super happy about that.  I've also done my official weigh-in for the Holiday Pounds Pool at the gym, so that will give me a little extra motivation to stay on track.  The rest of the events this week are all mental and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about them.

I know these feelings that I've been having are something that I need to address.
I just don't really know how.  I'm afraid that if I don't get past them, all of my hard work will be for nothing.  These demons I'm fighting are most likely the reason that I gained weight in the first place.  Instead of working through them, I ate to forget about them.  I can't do that again.  I won't do that again.  So, I'll continue to re-live feelings from the past and deal with them now, so that I can be successful in the future.

The Chubby Girl

I'm a big fan of The Biggest Loser.  I've watched every season since it started.  While I know that it's unrealistic to lose 10+ pounds in a week in real life, I still enjoy watching the transformations.  Aside from their weight loss, I'm always interested to see the corners they turn and the raw emotions that come to the surface when they least expect it.  That, my friends, is real.

The last few weeks I've found myself in a similar situation and I'm not entirely sure what to do about it.  There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to when it happens.  But when it does, I'm forced to think about and deal with issues that I thought I'd dealt with years ago.

I'm really not sure I can fully explain how I'm feeling right now because, frankly, I don't understand it myself.  It's all very confusing to me.  This is some deep seeded stuff.  It's almost as if that chubby, shy, girl with no confidence and low self esteem that I used to be is really fighting with the stronger, more confident, more outspoken woman that I'm trying to become.  And right now, I don't know who's winning.

It seems that for every stride I take towards my goals, the chubby girl is doing her best to get in the way.   For every thing I do that gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment, the chubby girl tells me that no one else thinks it's that great.   Every time I get in a situation where I'm challenged to do bigger and better things, the chubby girl whispers in my ear the one million reasons why I can't do it.  Any time anyone shows confidence in me or my abilities, the chubby girl reminds me that if I try and fail, I'll just let people down.  I'm getting really tired of this chick.

The question I'm also struggling with is the timing of it all.  Why now?  Why didn't I go through these issues when I lost weight with WW?  What makes this time different?  Honestly, I don't know the answer to that either.  But, clearly this is something I need to work through and deal with in order to continue to move forward. It's time to silence the chubby girl once and for all.

So Close

The end is in sight!  I am so close to finishing this Row the River challenge that I can't hardly stand it!  Roughly about 24,000 meters to go!  Honestly, I feel like I've been working on this forever.  The actual challenge at the gym started in May and ended mid August.  I'm not sure how many people actually managed to row 267,000 meters in those 3 months, but I know I wasn't one of them.  I wasn't even close.  But, I am now.  It's so close I can taste it!

I honestly don't even know why I'm still doing this though.  That challenge has long been forgotten by everyone else.  In fact, we've gone through an entire season since it ended in August.  At this point, the kids are back in school, we've had our first snow, and I'm still rowing.  Fact is, I don't really care though.  This has now become personal for me.

It would have been much easier to just quit when the challenge was over.  I wasn't even half way there when it ended, so there really wasn't much reason to finish.  There was no prize at the end.  And in all honesty, unless you read here, no one will even know when I do finish.  But, I'll know.

I think that's why I'm still going.  I feel like this is something that I just need to do. I also think this is about a lot more than just the rowing challenge.  This is about finishing what you started.  This is about not quitting when things get rough.  This is about not taking the easy way out.  This is about believing that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to.  This is about realizing that my weight loss journey is very much like this rowing challenge.  The end seems so far away, but if I keep plugging away, one day at a time, I'll eventually get there.  This is personal.

Workout With Friends

A wise friend once told me that I need to surround myself with people who are living the life that I want to live. Surround myself with people who will be a positive influence and will offer positive motivation.  She's been with me on this journey since college, so she's seen the ups and downs.  She's seen the WW days when I was surrounded by crabby women who spent more time complaining about their husbands than they did talking about weight loss.  She's seen the days when I gave up and just decided that I couldn't do it on my own.  She was also my biggest supporter when I told her I was finally joining a gym.  Lately I've been noticing what a good decision that was and how true her words really were.

Attending the group fitness classes at the gym have had several benefits.  Number one, obviously, I'm working out. But more than that, I've gotten to know several people that I might not have otherwise met.  Surrounding myself with people who are also working hard to be healthy and lose weight.
Today was a perfect example...

I had just finished my rowing class.  In fact, I stuck around a little longer after class to row a few more meters to bring me closer to my Row the River goal. Anyway, I had every intention of going home.  But, I ran into a friend who was trying to get the motivation to run a while on the treadmill.  Her other friend and I offered to join her on the treadmills next to her and encourage her.  The other two jogged while I walked.  Thirty minutes later it occurred to me that, because of her, I had put in an extra half hour of work.  I didn't go to the gym that morning expecting to walk nearly 2 miles on the treadmill. However, because she wanted some company, I stayed and ended up benefiting from it as well.  Surrounding myself with people who are also working hard to be healthy and lose weight.

Another way to surround myself with positive motivation is the addition of the personal training.  I'm only paying for an hour a week, but it involves so much more than that.  Case in point was yesterday.  For several weeks, my trainer had been wanting me to try a new activity that the gym offers.  For whatever reason, I wasn't overly interested. It just didn't look like much fun to me, and I drug my feet for a long time.  So, I jokingly made a deal.  If he went to a spinning class (which is still my favorite class there!) with me, I would try this other activity with him.  Attending a spin class with a client definitely isn't in a personal trainer's job description.  However, in doing that, he managed to not only get a workout himself, but I was encouraged to add some extra cardio that I hadn't planned on doing yesterday. Again, surrounding myself with people who will work hard with me and encourage me to work hard. 

So, that's my challenge to anyone reading this.  Surround yourself with people who will help you meet your ultimate goal.  Positive energy and positive motivation breeds positive results.





  

Week In Review

I'll just cut to the chase and let you know that I'm up a pound this week.  I guess this is also the part where I fess up and mention that I gave in to my PMS and enjoyed some chocolate & peanut butter ice cream.  And I truly enjoyed every part of it!

This is where I'm noticing a huge change in where I was vs. where I am now.  When I first began, I would have beaten myself up over that one pound gain.  I would have let it ruin my whole week and I probably would have done a lot more damage before the week was through.  Now, it doesn't bother me.  Well, no, that's not entirely true.  It bothers me, but it won't break me. I'm a girl. We tend to gain weight once a month.  It is what it is.  I am confident that this pound will be gone by this time next week.  Nothing to get worked up about.

So, even though I've gained a pound, I've come so far in my attitude that I still feel like I had a great week.  I hope everyone else had a great week as well!

Mission Accomplished

When I first began my sessions with a personal trainer I had one goal... to look and feel good in my bridesmaid dress.  Mission accomplished.  However, the trainer had a different goal in mind.  His goal was for me to get to a point when working out becomes such a habit that when I miss a day, my body notices.  Mission accomplished there as well.

For the last few Saturdays I have been meeting a friend and we've been working out together.  However, she couldn't make it today so I didn't go.  I had a lot of things that I needed to do at home, so I gave myself a free pass.  Besides, I've been working out with someone for so long that I really didn't want to do it alone.  However, now I kind of regret it.

I'm at the gym nearly every day.  If I'm not there, it's usually because of a commitment with the kids' school, or an appointment I couldn't get out of.
(9 times out of 10 I actually schedule my appointments around my time at the gym...)  But, for the most part, I'm there every week day, and recently, Saturdays.  On the days that I have something else going, it doesn't bother me so much because I'm occupied.  However, these days that I skip and I have nothing exciting going on (laundry and dishes is not exciting to me!), these are the days it bothers me.  I have gotten to the point where I kind of miss my workout.  I enjoy starting my day with a good sweat.  And all along I thought I just wanted to look good in a dress!

Chocolate Cake

Someone in my Spinning class was celebrating a birthday today. When you have a birthday at my gym, they give you a free bottle of water. However today, the birthday girl decided to treat everyone in class to a big, yummy looking, chocolate cake (which was decked out for Veteran's Day as well). This struck me as odd.

We're there because we're trying to be healthy, right? I'm trying to figure out how bringing a chocolate cake to a health club achieves that objective.  Now, I certainly don't want to deprive anyone of their birthday joy or anything, but it just didn't make sense to me.  While I certainly appreciate the thought, I chose not to have any cake.  I worked my tail off Rowing and Spinning this morning, I had no intention of un-doing all my hard work! I'm thinking that my ability to say "no" felt a whole lot better than that cake tasted!

No News Is Good News

Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. It's partly because I have a sick child at home and I just haven't had the opportunity. I'm definitely looking forward to my munchkin feeling better! It's also partly because there hasn't been much to talk about. Things are good at the gym and for the most part I'm making good food choices. All in all, things are good! I'm sure the lack of topics to talk about won't last long though! ;-)

I'm Seriously Kidding

Seriously Kidding. That's a contradiction if I've ever heard one. But lately, I'm finding that's what I've become. You see, I tend to joke around a lot.  Most of the time I crack a joke just to make people laugh.  But sometimes, I crack jokes when I'm nervous or scared. I crack jokes to diffuse a situation or to lighten the mood. It's worked well for me for a long time and it's a big part of who I am.  But lately, I'm finding that I've used humor so much that I'm not sure I'm being taken seriously.  Especially when it comes to my workouts.

I guess it's like the boy who cried wolf.  If I'm constantly bombarding people with sarcasm and exaggeration, it only makes sense that when I'm telling the truth and being honest, they might not believe me. That's the situation I found myself in with my trainer last week and I didn't like it at all.  When it comes to my workouts, I really do take them seriously.  In front of a group of people I'll joke around.  But when it all comes down to it, I'll do the work.  If I have to trust a trainer with things like my weight and BMI, I need them to trust that I'll do what I say I'll do.  It's a delicate balance that I definitely need to work on.

Week In Review

I'm posting my weight from yesterday morning. I was out of town this morning, so I wasn't able to weigh on my normal scale. I'm happy to report that I was down .6 pounds on Saturday! However, my food choices throughout the day on Saturday and today were less than desirable, so I imagine the numbers might not be as good now. But, it is what it is and I'm confident that I can make up for it this week. I am really needing the ass kicking that I'll be getting during my training sessions! Speaking of this week, my gym is once again doing the Holiday Pounds Pool. We pay $10 and weigh in this week. The object is to either maintain or lose weight between now and the first of the year. Should be a piece of cake!

Rowing The River

I'm still rowing. The gym competition was over in mid August, but I was nowhere close to finishing. However, now I am! It's getting really close. I am only 50,000 meters away! I typically row about 5,000 meters per class and I usually take 3 classes. So, by my math, that's 15,000 meters in a week. I should be done in a little over 3 weeks! Hallelujah!