Happy Dance

I am super happy right now.  I just found out that I have a whole extra week to weigh in for the Pounds Pool at the gym!  I'm already well on my way to losing what I gained last week.  So, this extra time is sure to guarantee that I'll come out of the challenge weighing less than when I started!  Doing the happy dance!

Back In The Saddle Again

It sure felt nice to be back at the gym today.  Although it had only been 3 days, when you're not eating or sleeping very well, 3 days without working out can feel like an eternity!  It also felt really good to start tracking my food again.  No particular reason why I had not been tracking the last few days, I just wasn't. Fortunately, just from tracking my food yesterday, I already noticed a weight loss.  So, I'm even more confident that I can absolutely get back on track and make up for whatever damage I did over Christmas!

Week In Review

I've got some serious work to do.  I have gained 1.6 pounds and I'm not very happy about it!  Yes, we are deep in the heart of the Holiday Season and goodies are abundant.  Yes, gym time has been at a premium since I've had lots of commitments with the kids and their school functions.  Yes, with the kids being off school for 2 weeks, gym time will continue to be hard to get.  But, that's not why I'm upset about the gain.  I'm upset about the gain because I was actually doing well.

I was making everything work.  My weight was still down despite lacking gym time and looming goodies.  But, in the course of the last week or so, I blew it.  I stopped keeping track of what I was eating.  I was eating late in the day and eating often.  So, a 1.6 pound gain is what I've gotten.

Fortunately, I'm confident that I can turn it around quickly.  I hope to report a good loss for next week.  It's definitely time to get back to work!

Merry Christmas!

Just wanted to do a quick post to wish you all a Merry Christmas!  I will be doing my "Week In Review" update tomorrow.  I hope you're all enjoying time with the people who mean the most to you! :-)

(Middle Of The) Week In Review

I'm going to do a (middle of the) week in review because I'm a little flustered right now.  Although it's a habit I'm trying to break, I do still weigh in every morning to make sure I'm on the right track.  Unfortunately, I'm not liking what I've been seeing the last few mornings.  I seem to be up about a pound and I can't account for it.

It wouldn't bother me if I didn't have a little money riding on it. But, I do, so it does.  As you may remember, my gym has a Holiday Pounds Pool where you pay $10 at Thanksgiving and then as long as you maintain or lose through the holidays, you'll get your $10 back, plus a portion of the money from those that didn't do as well.  I honestly don't remember what my weight was the day I weighed in for the pool, but the fact that I'm up a bit now doesn't bode well.  The Pool ends the first week of January, so I don't have much time left.

And, like I mentioned, I can't account for it.  I checked the calendar and I can't blame mother nature for this little gain.  Aside from not doing great with the fruits and vegetables, I can't really blame my eating because it hasn't been horrible.  And, while I'm no longer working with a trainer, I am still going to the gym and doing my best to follow the weight routine he gave me.  I don't know.  It's just frustrating.

I don't have a problem accepting a little gain when I know what to pin it on.  But, when I'm stumped, it bothers me. I guess I just have to keep plugging away and doing what I know to do.  Hopefully everything will fall back into line and this is just a little hiccup.  Crossing my fingers that it all gets taken care of by the time I have to weigh in again.

Week In Review

I'm happy to share that I'm down another 1.2 pounds!  I managed to do this in spite of myself, too.

We had our first Christmas party of the season last night and I fell victim to the same thing that gets me every time.  The bowl of M&Ms.  Stupid bowl of M&Ms, I can't seem to stay away from them!  But, I did make it to the gym yesterday morning, so I'm guessing I did enough there to counteract my M&M issue.

This upcoming week is going to be tough as far as the gym goes.  I have parties in the kids' classrooms and last minute shopping to take care of.  Not to mention making goodies for the neighbors.  So, getting to the gym is going to be a challenge.  I either need to decide to be there ridiculously early in the morning or most likely not at all.  So, I guess early morning it is!

Preemptive Strike

'Tis the season for crazy eating.  Like every family, ours has a certain food that we only eat once a year.  I come from Bohemian roots and our family's certain food is sour kraut and dumplings.  The sour kraut  is the only semi-healthy thing about this meal.  The dumplings are ridiculous.  And, back in the day, it was cooked with a side of salt pork and the grease from that was poured on top of the dumplings to help them slide down.  My grandmother changed it up a bit and used bacon grease, but the concept was the same.  And it was delicious.

Well, today is the day when the sour kraut and dumplings are being served.  This year we didn't use any grease, so that should make them a little less horrible.  While I know it isn't possible to work out enough in the morning to counteract these dumplings, I sure gave it a good shot this morning!  Luckily, this meal sits so heavy that I know I'll be full pretty quick.  I'm going to try to focus on visiting with family and less on the dumplings.  Wish me luck!

Interesting...

There is an interesting phenomenon going on in my world right now... I seem to be eating less!

While I totally understand that that's the point, I seem to be doing it without trying.  I'm not sure if it's because I just am not as hungry these days or because I'm working so hard at the gym that I have no desire to overeat.  Whatever the reason, I am eating less and that's a good thing!

Week In Review

I'm happy to share that I lost .4 pounds this week!  While .4 doesn't sound overly exciting, I'm thrilled with it!  This has been a very busy week at my kids' school and I had evening commitments most of those nights.  Couple that busyness with being at the gym by 6 a.m. 3 mornings last week and you've got one exhausted mama!  So, the fact that I was able to lose anything last week is a huge deal.

I have also completed my last session with the trainer, so I'm now officially
on my own.  In all honesty, I don't really think I'll be on my own.  I've got lots of people at the gym that are going to make sure that I don't slack off during these few weeks.

There's also something new that I heard about yesterday that I'm tossing around in my head.  The gym is offering a package where you can buy training sessions and meet with a dietitian.  This actually works out to be a little cheaper than just meeting with the trainer.  Money wise, it's a good deal.  Whether or not I feel like I can openly discuss my eating without feeling uncomfortable, that's another story.  I already know what I should be eating, I just don't always eat what I should.  I just don't know if I want some skinny chick to tell me how to eat.  I know that's horribly judgemental on my part and I shouldn't think that way. But, I do.  I guess it's something to think about.  I hope everyone else had a great week!

Choices

I've got a bone to pick with McDonald's.  Yes, I went to McDonald's.  Anyway, I grabbed a Happy Meal for the kids and ordered apples with it, like I always do.  They had gotten something wrong, so I asked them to confirm my order.  They repeated it back to me and I wanted to make sure that I had apples in the Happy Meal.  I was told that they now put apples and fries in their meals.  So, I tell them, "please don't put the fries in, I don't want them."  You would have thought I had 2 heads.  They of course put apples and fries in both meals.

What the heck!?  Not that McDonald's is the best choice in the world, but I'm trying to at least cut out some garbage by giving my kids fruit instead of fries, and they won't do it!  What's the point of putting both foods in for the kids?  You completely defeat the purpose of putting in a healthy alternative when you insist on including the unhealthy fries as well.  Ugghh!

Week In Review

This has been a good week.  I ended up losing 2 pounds, so I lost what I gained last week and am back on track.  We still have a few weeks before our family's Christmas parties start, so I'm hopeful that I'll make some good progress before that time!

I'm also very happy to share that I have made the first step to tearing down these walls that I have built.  I finally talked to my trainer about everything.  It took me a long time to get there, but I finally got there.  We made many, many laps around the track while we talked.  I spilled it all.  I started back with the day in the office when I wouldn't do the fitness assessment and just kept going from there.  It was a huge step for me, but I'm glad I took it.  He can't truly help me make these changes if he doesn't know what's going on in my head.  Now he does.  All of it.  Although it was really difficult, it felt good to get it all out on the table.  I'm really looking forward to the next leg of this journey!

Support

Today I'd like to brag about my hubby for a bit.  Since I started, this blog has been all about me.  But, without my husband's support, I'm not sure I'd be able to do this. He's seen me fat, he's seen me thin.  He's seen me try the diet pills.  He's seen me do Weight Watchers.  He's seen it all and has supported me the entire time. But, his support goes so much farther than that. You see, I think I've pinpointed why I'm having such a hard time sharing my struggles with my trainer...
It's because he's a he.

I've been married for 13 years, but we've been together for 17 years.  In those 17 years I've never really opened up to a guy that wasn't my husband.  I just never thought it was acceptable or appropriate.  Now, don't get me wrong, I have male friends.  We talk about lots of stuff, but it's current.  Nothing that digs into my past.  I believe that you share that kind of stuff with a spouse or a girl friend.
Not another male.

I've talked with my husband about my struggles and he's been wonderful.  But, he gives me "husband" answers.    So, we had a long heart to heart last night.  I needed to hear from him that it was alright for me to share this stuff.  I needed to hear that he was o.k. with it.  I needed him to know how conflicted I was about the whole situation but how important I think it is for me to push through this wall. Not only is he o.k. with it, he totally gets it.  He completely understands.  He understands my hesitations, but agrees that I need to do this to finally rid myself of these insecurities once and for all.  I have his blessings and 100% support.
I married an amazing man.

Going It Alone

I love Christmas!  It is my favorite time of the year.  I love the decorating, the lights, the parties, the time with family, the gifts, everything.  But, Christmas, and everything that goes with it, costs money.  This time of year every spare dollar we have goes to Christmas gifts and such.  That includes any extra money I've been spending at the gym.

So, I had to do the responsible thing and stop my training for the time being.  And I'm scared to death.  Next week is the end of my sessions until after the first of the year.  I don't doubt that I'll still be in the gym doing my rowing/step/spinning classes.  But, I'm afraid the weight training is going to go by the wayside.  It won't be intentional, but I'm just afraid it's going to happen.  And I'm scared to death.

I just don't feel like I do as well by myself.  I didn't get the same results by myself.  Aside from the bridesmaid dress, that's the reason I signed with a trainer in the first place.  I just wasn't getting results on my own.  But, it is what it is and you do what you've got to do.  We'll see how this goes...

The Week In Review

This post is brought to you by the good, the bad, and the ugly...

The good is that after a heart to heart with a friend, I think I'm on the road to figuring out why I'm struggling with so much right now.  It's becoming a little more clear why I didn't go through these same issues with Weight Watchers.  It's also becoming more and more clear that the only way to truly break through these walls is to open up to my trainer.  I need to trust his ability to lead me through this.

The bad would be my food choices the last couple of days.  I did well with Thanksgiving, but not so good with the 2 days afterwards.  I think my bad choices Friday are directly related to my staying up all night shopping on Thursday night.  I was exhausted and I really didn't care what I was putting in my body.  Saturday's choices?  I've got nothing to pin those on.  That was all me.  Those choices bring me to the ugly of the week...

A 2 pound gain.  Not much else to say about that.  I know I'll kill it this week, so I'm positive that those 2 pounds will be gone by this time next week.  I hope everyone else had a great week!

Thanksgiving

A belated Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!  Hopefully you all had a wonderful day!  I am actually fairly happy with my dinner decisions.  I did go back for seconds, but I went back for seconds on sweet potatoes, so it could have been much worse.  Yes, the sweet potatoes were sweetened and most likely cooked with butter.  But, they were still sweet potatoes, so I'm totally taking credit for that!  In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit to having a piece of apple pie.  But, that was it.  I didn't overdo it on the mashed potatoes and I didn't overdo it on the stuffing.  All in all, I think Thanksgiving dinner was a success!

I'm Done!... Now What?

I finally rowed the river!  Now what?

I've been rowing my heart out for months now.  I've gone to extra rowing classes and have made rowing a part of my cardio program since last summer, all in the interest of getting extra meters to meet my goal.  Now that I'm here, what's next?

To be completely honest, I don't really love rowing.  But, it's become a habit now.  I re-arranged my usual schedule to fit in the rowing classes.  Now, those rowing classes have become a part of my usual schedule.  I'm not sure I could drop them even if I wanted to.  That's the funny thing about these group classes.  When you go on a consistent basis, you're missed when you're not there.  Instructors and members of the class will ask you why you haven't been around.  And, on the flip side, since they have become such a habit, it feels a little strange to not be there. So now what?  Even though I'm not tracking meters anymore, I guess I keep on rowing.  Darn habits!

Week In Review

This has been an interesting week. To begin with, I lost what I gained last week, and then some, with a total of loss of 1.6 pounds.  I'm super happy about that.  I've also done my official weigh-in for the Holiday Pounds Pool at the gym, so that will give me a little extra motivation to stay on track.  The rest of the events this week are all mental and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about them.

I know these feelings that I've been having are something that I need to address.
I just don't really know how.  I'm afraid that if I don't get past them, all of my hard work will be for nothing.  These demons I'm fighting are most likely the reason that I gained weight in the first place.  Instead of working through them, I ate to forget about them.  I can't do that again.  I won't do that again.  So, I'll continue to re-live feelings from the past and deal with them now, so that I can be successful in the future.

The Chubby Girl

I'm a big fan of The Biggest Loser.  I've watched every season since it started.  While I know that it's unrealistic to lose 10+ pounds in a week in real life, I still enjoy watching the transformations.  Aside from their weight loss, I'm always interested to see the corners they turn and the raw emotions that come to the surface when they least expect it.  That, my friends, is real.

The last few weeks I've found myself in a similar situation and I'm not entirely sure what to do about it.  There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to when it happens.  But when it does, I'm forced to think about and deal with issues that I thought I'd dealt with years ago.

I'm really not sure I can fully explain how I'm feeling right now because, frankly, I don't understand it myself.  It's all very confusing to me.  This is some deep seeded stuff.  It's almost as if that chubby, shy, girl with no confidence and low self esteem that I used to be is really fighting with the stronger, more confident, more outspoken woman that I'm trying to become.  And right now, I don't know who's winning.

It seems that for every stride I take towards my goals, the chubby girl is doing her best to get in the way.   For every thing I do that gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment, the chubby girl tells me that no one else thinks it's that great.   Every time I get in a situation where I'm challenged to do bigger and better things, the chubby girl whispers in my ear the one million reasons why I can't do it.  Any time anyone shows confidence in me or my abilities, the chubby girl reminds me that if I try and fail, I'll just let people down.  I'm getting really tired of this chick.

The question I'm also struggling with is the timing of it all.  Why now?  Why didn't I go through these issues when I lost weight with WW?  What makes this time different?  Honestly, I don't know the answer to that either.  But, clearly this is something I need to work through and deal with in order to continue to move forward. It's time to silence the chubby girl once and for all.

So Close

The end is in sight!  I am so close to finishing this Row the River challenge that I can't hardly stand it!  Roughly about 24,000 meters to go!  Honestly, I feel like I've been working on this forever.  The actual challenge at the gym started in May and ended mid August.  I'm not sure how many people actually managed to row 267,000 meters in those 3 months, but I know I wasn't one of them.  I wasn't even close.  But, I am now.  It's so close I can taste it!

I honestly don't even know why I'm still doing this though.  That challenge has long been forgotten by everyone else.  In fact, we've gone through an entire season since it ended in August.  At this point, the kids are back in school, we've had our first snow, and I'm still rowing.  Fact is, I don't really care though.  This has now become personal for me.

It would have been much easier to just quit when the challenge was over.  I wasn't even half way there when it ended, so there really wasn't much reason to finish.  There was no prize at the end.  And in all honesty, unless you read here, no one will even know when I do finish.  But, I'll know.

I think that's why I'm still going.  I feel like this is something that I just need to do. I also think this is about a lot more than just the rowing challenge.  This is about finishing what you started.  This is about not quitting when things get rough.  This is about not taking the easy way out.  This is about believing that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to.  This is about realizing that my weight loss journey is very much like this rowing challenge.  The end seems so far away, but if I keep plugging away, one day at a time, I'll eventually get there.  This is personal.

Workout With Friends

A wise friend once told me that I need to surround myself with people who are living the life that I want to live. Surround myself with people who will be a positive influence and will offer positive motivation.  She's been with me on this journey since college, so she's seen the ups and downs.  She's seen the WW days when I was surrounded by crabby women who spent more time complaining about their husbands than they did talking about weight loss.  She's seen the days when I gave up and just decided that I couldn't do it on my own.  She was also my biggest supporter when I told her I was finally joining a gym.  Lately I've been noticing what a good decision that was and how true her words really were.

Attending the group fitness classes at the gym have had several benefits.  Number one, obviously, I'm working out. But more than that, I've gotten to know several people that I might not have otherwise met.  Surrounding myself with people who are also working hard to be healthy and lose weight.
Today was a perfect example...

I had just finished my rowing class.  In fact, I stuck around a little longer after class to row a few more meters to bring me closer to my Row the River goal. Anyway, I had every intention of going home.  But, I ran into a friend who was trying to get the motivation to run a while on the treadmill.  Her other friend and I offered to join her on the treadmills next to her and encourage her.  The other two jogged while I walked.  Thirty minutes later it occurred to me that, because of her, I had put in an extra half hour of work.  I didn't go to the gym that morning expecting to walk nearly 2 miles on the treadmill. However, because she wanted some company, I stayed and ended up benefiting from it as well.  Surrounding myself with people who are also working hard to be healthy and lose weight.

Another way to surround myself with positive motivation is the addition of the personal training.  I'm only paying for an hour a week, but it involves so much more than that.  Case in point was yesterday.  For several weeks, my trainer had been wanting me to try a new activity that the gym offers.  For whatever reason, I wasn't overly interested. It just didn't look like much fun to me, and I drug my feet for a long time.  So, I jokingly made a deal.  If he went to a spinning class (which is still my favorite class there!) with me, I would try this other activity with him.  Attending a spin class with a client definitely isn't in a personal trainer's job description.  However, in doing that, he managed to not only get a workout himself, but I was encouraged to add some extra cardio that I hadn't planned on doing yesterday. Again, surrounding myself with people who will work hard with me and encourage me to work hard. 

So, that's my challenge to anyone reading this.  Surround yourself with people who will help you meet your ultimate goal.  Positive energy and positive motivation breeds positive results.





  

Week In Review

I'll just cut to the chase and let you know that I'm up a pound this week.  I guess this is also the part where I fess up and mention that I gave in to my PMS and enjoyed some chocolate & peanut butter ice cream.  And I truly enjoyed every part of it!

This is where I'm noticing a huge change in where I was vs. where I am now.  When I first began, I would have beaten myself up over that one pound gain.  I would have let it ruin my whole week and I probably would have done a lot more damage before the week was through.  Now, it doesn't bother me.  Well, no, that's not entirely true.  It bothers me, but it won't break me. I'm a girl. We tend to gain weight once a month.  It is what it is.  I am confident that this pound will be gone by this time next week.  Nothing to get worked up about.

So, even though I've gained a pound, I've come so far in my attitude that I still feel like I had a great week.  I hope everyone else had a great week as well!

Mission Accomplished

When I first began my sessions with a personal trainer I had one goal... to look and feel good in my bridesmaid dress.  Mission accomplished.  However, the trainer had a different goal in mind.  His goal was for me to get to a point when working out becomes such a habit that when I miss a day, my body notices.  Mission accomplished there as well.

For the last few Saturdays I have been meeting a friend and we've been working out together.  However, she couldn't make it today so I didn't go.  I had a lot of things that I needed to do at home, so I gave myself a free pass.  Besides, I've been working out with someone for so long that I really didn't want to do it alone.  However, now I kind of regret it.

I'm at the gym nearly every day.  If I'm not there, it's usually because of a commitment with the kids' school, or an appointment I couldn't get out of.
(9 times out of 10 I actually schedule my appointments around my time at the gym...)  But, for the most part, I'm there every week day, and recently, Saturdays.  On the days that I have something else going, it doesn't bother me so much because I'm occupied.  However, these days that I skip and I have nothing exciting going on (laundry and dishes is not exciting to me!), these are the days it bothers me.  I have gotten to the point where I kind of miss my workout.  I enjoy starting my day with a good sweat.  And all along I thought I just wanted to look good in a dress!

Chocolate Cake

Someone in my Spinning class was celebrating a birthday today. When you have a birthday at my gym, they give you a free bottle of water. However today, the birthday girl decided to treat everyone in class to a big, yummy looking, chocolate cake (which was decked out for Veteran's Day as well). This struck me as odd.

We're there because we're trying to be healthy, right? I'm trying to figure out how bringing a chocolate cake to a health club achieves that objective.  Now, I certainly don't want to deprive anyone of their birthday joy or anything, but it just didn't make sense to me.  While I certainly appreciate the thought, I chose not to have any cake.  I worked my tail off Rowing and Spinning this morning, I had no intention of un-doing all my hard work! I'm thinking that my ability to say "no" felt a whole lot better than that cake tasted!

No News Is Good News

Sorry I haven't updated in a few days. It's partly because I have a sick child at home and I just haven't had the opportunity. I'm definitely looking forward to my munchkin feeling better! It's also partly because there hasn't been much to talk about. Things are good at the gym and for the most part I'm making good food choices. All in all, things are good! I'm sure the lack of topics to talk about won't last long though! ;-)

I'm Seriously Kidding

Seriously Kidding. That's a contradiction if I've ever heard one. But lately, I'm finding that's what I've become. You see, I tend to joke around a lot.  Most of the time I crack a joke just to make people laugh.  But sometimes, I crack jokes when I'm nervous or scared. I crack jokes to diffuse a situation or to lighten the mood. It's worked well for me for a long time and it's a big part of who I am.  But lately, I'm finding that I've used humor so much that I'm not sure I'm being taken seriously.  Especially when it comes to my workouts.

I guess it's like the boy who cried wolf.  If I'm constantly bombarding people with sarcasm and exaggeration, it only makes sense that when I'm telling the truth and being honest, they might not believe me. That's the situation I found myself in with my trainer last week and I didn't like it at all.  When it comes to my workouts, I really do take them seriously.  In front of a group of people I'll joke around.  But when it all comes down to it, I'll do the work.  If I have to trust a trainer with things like my weight and BMI, I need them to trust that I'll do what I say I'll do.  It's a delicate balance that I definitely need to work on.

Week In Review

I'm posting my weight from yesterday morning. I was out of town this morning, so I wasn't able to weigh on my normal scale. I'm happy to report that I was down .6 pounds on Saturday! However, my food choices throughout the day on Saturday and today were less than desirable, so I imagine the numbers might not be as good now. But, it is what it is and I'm confident that I can make up for it this week. I am really needing the ass kicking that I'll be getting during my training sessions! Speaking of this week, my gym is once again doing the Holiday Pounds Pool. We pay $10 and weigh in this week. The object is to either maintain or lose weight between now and the first of the year. Should be a piece of cake!

Rowing The River

I'm still rowing. The gym competition was over in mid August, but I was nowhere close to finishing. However, now I am! It's getting really close. I am only 50,000 meters away! I typically row about 5,000 meters per class and I usually take 3 classes. So, by my math, that's 15,000 meters in a week. I should be done in a little over 3 weeks! Hallelujah!

Week In Review

Happy Halloween! I'm a day late with my week in review, but that's because I couldn't wait to share my news, so I really didn't have much else to report! In keeping with the Halloween spirit, I'm happy to report that I didn't buy my candy until yesterday, so there was nothing in the house to tempt me! As of right now, the bags are still sealed and I've got lots to do to keep me busy and away from the candy. I'm hoping it goes well once it's all opened this evening! As far as the candy that the kids bring home, there's a dentist in the area that will give money for every pound of candy you give them, so we might just have to do that again this year. The candy they receive is passed on to the troops over seas, so it's a win/win. Candy for the troops and less temptation for me! I'm feeling pretty confident as far as my relationship with Halloween candy this year. I wish you all luck too!

The Big 2-0

I did it. I don't even want to think about how long it took, but I finally did it! I stepped on the scale this morning and the elusive 20 pound mark finally came. It seriously feels like it took forever to get here. I don't know why that number was so important to me, but it was. Back in my Weight Watchers day, one of the first goals you shoot for is losing 10% of your body weight. Without sharing my actual weight, I will tell you that 20 pounds is a little more than 10% of my starting weight! I have to admit, I was honestly wondering if I'd ever get to 20 pounds! I thought for sure that once I started with the trainer and got more serious about my exercise that the weight would just melt off. But, that hasn't been the case. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled with the results I've seen since starting with the trainer. But, they weren't the results I expected. My body has been changing, tightening, and toning, but the weight wasn't doing much. Until now. I feel like the pieces are starting to fall into place. Now that I finally got here, a huge weight has been lifted and I can now focus on the next mark, which will be 25 pounds. Here we go...!

Skippin' It

This feels very strange. For the first time in I don't even know how long, I'm not going to the gym. Today is one of those days that I just don't feel well and the idea of huffing and puffing at the gym does nothing for me. In fact, with a sore throat and not a lot of sleep last night, it sounds down right miserable. It feels strange though. Hitting the gym has become such a habit for me that it seems "off" for me to not be there. Now, I have missed it for things like school functions with the kids or doctors appointments with my kids, but that's different. I had somewhere else I had to be, so it didn't really feel like I was skipping. Today, I have nothing else going on. The only place I might go today is back to bed. On the upside... as the old saying goes, "Feed a Fever, Starve a Cold". Pretty sure this is a cold, so if I starve it, I should end up with a good week!

Boxing

Look out world, I tried boxing this morning and loved it! I didn't actually box against anyone, just the punching bag. But still, got a great workout and loved every minute of it. It beat the Hell out of doing push-ups! However, I did do push-ups today as well, so the boxing was a bonus. Up until today, Tae Bo was as close as I'd ever gotten to boxing. And, I'll give credit where it's due, Tae Bo is a great workout as well and it did it for me for several years. But, actually putting on some boxing gloves and beating a bag was a lot different than punching the air in front of my television. And I actually experienced a first today. Sweat actually flew off of me! Now, I'm a sweater normally, so it's not uncommon to have some drip here and there. But today, it flew. I punched the bag and I saw it fly. Very cool and totally disgusting at the same time! I had to stop because I was laughing so hard. Just in case he didn't see it, I of course had to tell my trainer that it happened and I apologized because I was sure it hit him. Which grossed me out and made me laugh even harder! Once we found the spot on the floor and not on his shirt, I could go on. :-) Aside from the flying sweat, I totally loved it and can't wait to do it again!

The Week In Review

This post is brought to you courtesy of mixed messages. I stepped on the scale this morning to record my weight and I was thrilled! I had cleaned up the mess I made last week and then some. In fact, I had hit my 20 pound mark and a little more! I stood on the scale dumbfounded. I was so shocked to see that number that I thought it must be too good to be true. But, I looked at it again and it did indeed say what I thought it said. So, I hopped off the scale, happy as a clam. I should have left well enough alone, but I didn't. I just felt like it was too good to be true, so I stepped back on again. This time the number was different. It was different by 2 pounds. What? How do I weigh 2 pounds more in the course of 5 minutes? So, that being said, I don't exactly know what to report. Either number I go with will be a loss from last week, so I'm very happy with that. However, I'm stuck with a dilemma. Do I stick with the fact that I've hit my 20 pound mark and change my graphic accordingly? Or, do I go with the second number I saw which was still a loss? Or, do I split the difference? Mixed messages make me crazy!

Accountability

I've made several friends since I joined the gym a few years ago. But, there are 2 gals in particular that I seem to have the most in common with. We're all about the same age, we're all moms of younger children, and we're all working hard trying to lose weight. They have actually been working out together for quite some time, but I've been invited to join in. In fact, they're not only working out together, they're each weighing in, keeping a food journal and then sharing it with each other once a week for accountability. I've been invited to join that as well. While I'm interested, I'm also scared to death. Actually, scared to death doesn't even begin to cover how I'm feeling. It's one thing for me to confess my shortcomings here, but it's another thing all together to have someone read it, right in front of me. I get some comfort knowing that I have no idea who's reading right now. I know there are a few, but I don't know who you are. There's some safety in that. And, while I'll share the highs and lows of the weeks, I'm not sharing every single thing I might eat. I don't know. It would certainly be a great way to stay motivated and to be accountable. That's one thing I think that maybe I've been missing. Yes, I'm accountable here. However, I'm only giving "generals" and no specifics. I can't hide behind a computer screen when my readers are standing right in front of me. Something to think about for sure!

Blech...

My week in review can be summed up with one word. Blech! This week I've had the trifecta of yuck, to equal a 2 pound gain. Like I continue to say, this journey will not always be pretty (and believe me, this week was ugly!), but I will always be honest. As far as the trifecta, it started with the Wedding last weekend. As I've already shared, that turned into a drink fest like I hadn't had in 10 years! Then we go to the candy/fried food/alcohol enjoyment that I ended the day with yesterday. All we need to do is throw in a little Mother Nature and voila!, you've got a week of yuck ending with a gain. Here's to a new week to clean up this mess!

Candy, and Fried Food and Drinks, Oh My!

Each of these things by themselves isn't a horrible thing. However, when you put them all together in one day, it doesn't exactly aide in weight loss! Yesterday started off innocent enough. I had a decent breakfast, had lunch with my daughter, and enjoyed a field trip with her class. Then came Homecoming. We went to the Homecoming parade and the kids in the parade were super generous with the candy. And, they seemed to all know and like my kids, so they threw extra candy at them. The kids filled their pockets, then they filled my pockets, then we took it all home. I'm a sucker for Tootsie Rolls and Smarties, and there was plenty to go around. After the Homecoming game, some friends and I went out to get a drink. I only ordered one, which I suppose is good, but that still didn't help my already fragile calorie count for the day. It had been a little while since I had eaten, so naturally we thought that along with our drinks, we should order some appetizers. A variety of appetizers. And of course we shared them, so we all had a little of this and a little of that. Yesterday will clearly be chalked up to a day of good friends but poor choices.

Round of Applause

I want to give a big Thanks and round of applause to restaurants that put their nutritional information online. It makes it so much easier to plan for an evening out! I had dinner with some ladies last night and we decided ahead of time to go to TGIFridays. Because they have the balls to put it out there and let everyone know the stats on their food, I was able to plan my meal before I even left home, and stay under my calories for the day. Thank you TGIFridays!

The Jig is Up

I'm a pretty tough chick. At least that's the image that I like to portray. As far as my training sessions go, I can be a machine. It's amazing what you can do when someone's watching you and you don't want them to think you're weak. I'll squat, lunge, dead lift, push up, dip, whatever, until he tells me to stop. And I don't complain. I might make a smart ass comment here and there to keep things light, but I will still do the work. This has worked well for the last 6 weeks. But, the jig is now up. This morning my trainer wanted me to try something that really made me nervous. Quite honestly, I was scared to death. (Let me back up and mention that I hurt my back when I was 20. I slipped a disc and was down for a few weeks. Most painful thing I've ever been through, including childbirth! Needless to say, I am now super careful about what I do because I have no intention of injuring my back again.) Back to this morning... He wanted me to use the kettle bells and swing one up over my head and then back down. Right away I told him that I was really nervous about this. I had horrible visions of me doing it wrong and my back getting out of whack. He showed me how to do it properly, started me on a small weight (10 pounds) and I tried on my own. It actually didn't go that terribly. It was difficult, but I had the hang of it and my back seemed to be fine. He was happy with my form, so he gave me the weight that he wanted me to have. I got it over my head once and freaked out on the way down. I told him that it was too heavy and I put the weight on the floor. He was fine with that and told me that I could work my way up to those and we moved on to something else. Maybe I should rephrase that, He moved on to something else. My head was still very much on that exercise. I'm doing my dead lifts, but was thinking about what had just happened. It wasn't so much the fact that I couldn't (or didn't want to) do them. In fact, I actually really wanted to try them again with the 10 pound weight, but he didn't think that was a good idea. My issue was the fact that I didn't look like a tough chick anymore. I let something get the best of me. Now, in my head I know that I made the right decision. I know that it was smart for me to stop before I hurt myself. I wouldn't be doing anyone any good if I were laid up for several weeks again. So, I really do believe I did the right thing. My ego on the other hand, that took a serious hit. For the last 6 weeks, I've had a nice wall up. I was tough, I was strong, and my trainer was still trying to figure me out. For what it was worth, I felt like I had the upper hand. But today forced me to let down the wall and I wasn't ready for that. I still wanted to portray the "Superwoman" image that I had been showing. Instead, a very different, vulnerable me came through and that's something that rarely happens. Very few people see that side of me, and that's exactly the way I wanted it. I show people exactly what I want them to see and nothing else. Today, some honest, true feelings came out and I'm not sure how I feel about it...

Week In Review

I'll be perfectly honest and tell you that I'm reporting on the weight that I logged on Friday morning. We left town Friday afternoon for the wedding and I didn't get home until this afternoon. I'm quite certain that with the amount of champagne I drank and the cake I allowed myself, my weight is probably up slightly. But, I hit a number on Friday and I'm going with it! I ended up losing 1.6 pounds this past week which thrills me to death! And just as exciting as that is the fact that I'm getting super close to the 20 pound loss mark. I'm only about a half pound away, so I'm expecting to hit it this week or next! That is big news for a couple reasons. First off, it's 20 pounds! Back in my Weight Watcher days I used to kind of "check" to see how much weight I had lost from week to week. After my first 5 pounds, I grabbed a bag of sugar and carried it around for a while. After 10 pounds I think I grabbed 2 bags. For 20 pounds, it was a large bag of dog food. It's really surprising just how much 20 pounds weighs. And after this last .4 pounds, I'm not carrying it around any longer! Secondly, I'm at a weight that I haven't been at since I left Weight Watchers. I am proving that I in fact CAN do it on my own! I'm also very happy to report that the bridesmaid dress was actually a little big on me! Not big enough to fall off, but big enough that I found myself adjusting it throughout the night. It was a problem that I was pretty happy to have. :-) I hope everyone else had a fabulous weekend!

Exciting News

We're getting ready to head off for the wedding! I've got several exciting things to share once I get back. Have a great weekend!

Crunch Time

We're in the final week before the wedding, so it's time to really step it up! I've scheduled 2 sessions with my trainer this week and I plan to really hit the cardio hard. I haven't tried the dress on lately, but I'm guessing it still fits. My ultimate goal is to not only have it fit, but for it to be comfortable. I've got 4 more days to get it done!

Week In Review

All in all it's been a good week. I am down .4 pounds :-) Not much else to really report. Actually, I take that back. Something kind of funny happened this afternoon. My family and I were at a local apple orchard. We had just finished picking apples and enjoying the outdoors and were standing in line to get our cider and donuts. I'm minding my business when my trainer walks up and says hi. Seriously? I run into my trainer when I'm in line for donuts? I guess I'm getting my butt kicked a little harder tomorrow morning!

That Didn't Last Long

Well, as I predicted, my lack of thing to say didn't last very long! :-) I actually wanted to blog tonight because I'm very excited. I'm starting to see results! Not just weight loss results, but results directly related to my training. And when I can see results, I know something is happening! I first noticed it the other day. I was driving in my car, short sleeve shirt, and I notice a small bulge in my arm. My first thought is that it must have been the angle of my arm resting on the door of the car. So I lifted up my arm. Sure enough, I see the small bulge again. Hot damn, it's a bicep!

The Time Has Come

I've finally come to the time of this blog that I was afraid was coming.... I have nothing to say! My training is going well.  I am kind of in the zone right now as far as eating.  I'm getting lots of cardio on my non-training days.  I haven't had any real revelations lately.  I've just kind of run out of topics.  

I guess I'm kind of happy about that.  Right now, things are just kind of rolling along.  I've shared a lot of background as far as why I have some issues that I have now.  I've also worked through those, so for the time being, they're no longer issues.  Other than a play by play of my ever exciting workouts ~ which no one wants!~ there's just not a lot going on right now.  Now, I'm sure that will change before long.  For those that know me, they know that I won't stay quiet for long.  But for now, just know that I'm "keepin' on keepin' on"!

Week In Review

This past week ended up being pretty good.  I was down a pound, so I'm very happy with that!  I made it to the gym every day last week and worked with my trainer once.  All in all, I can't complain!

Rowing Update

I'm over half way there!  I haven't posted much recently as far as rowing goes. However, after logging another 5,000 meters today, it occurred to me that I'm over halfway there!  It feels like I've been trying to finish this "Row The River" challenge forever.  In fact, it's been done for well over a month, but here I am still going.  140,000 down, 127,000 to go!

Much Better

This week is starting out (can I still say starting out since it's Wednesday!?) much better than last week ended.  The chocolate cake that haunted me has long been thrown out.  The delicious Dove ice cream is gone.  The yellow cake still sits in my refrigerator, as does the vanilla ice cream in the freezer, but no one has touched them all week.  I could probably just throw those away as well.

Workouts are going pretty good too.  I'm in my 4th week working with the trainer and I still really enjoy it. Even if I'm not losing a ton right now, I'm starting to see some subtle changes, so I'm happy.  I'm mostly seeing muscles in my arms that I don't typically see, so that's pretty exciting.  I'm really looking forward to the day when the scale and my body work together and I see big changes! :-)  I hope everyone is having a wonderful week!

The Week In Review

With my birthday and all the goodies we've had in our house, the week ended with a bust!  I ended up gaining about a half a pound this week.  I suppose it's not as bad as it could have been, but I'm still not thrilled about it.  I actually was doing pretty good earlier in the week, but the cake/ice cream/no bakes killed me.   As much as I'm not thrilled that I gained a bit, I guess I'm happy that it wasn't very much.  It will be easy to lose that half pound and more this coming week.  And, the cake, ice cream, and no bakes are being thrown out, so there's nothing to get in my way!  I hope everyone had a great weekend!

House Full of Goodies

Well, in the epic battle of myself vs. the no bake cookies, the no bake cookies won.  In fact, this whole weekend has kind of gone down the toilet pretty fast.  I'm really not complaining... just stating a fact.

Yesterday was my birthday, so my wonderful husband made lots of arrangements without involving me.  These arrangements included dinner and then having family over for cake and ice cream.  Although I should have said no, I thought it was rude to turn down my own birthday cake.  And, my mother was nice enough to bring me some Dove brand, chocolately, brownie, ice cream.  Of course I had a small scoop of that too.  So my house, which normally doesn't have that many "goodies", now has a small chocolate cake, a small yellow cake, a half gallon of vanilla ice cream, and a small container of that Dove ice cream.  And those stupid no-bakes!  Lord, help me!

Well Nuts...

You might remember that I posted a little while back about making No Bake Cookies.  Well, my husband's co-workers went nuts for them and asked if I'd make them again.  (They were pretty yummy if I do say so myself!)  Anyway, I thought that yesterday would be a good day to make them and send them with him to work today. However, they didn't work.  For some reason, they're not hardening like they should.  So, despite how good they taste (yes, I did have one or two), I can't send them because they're not setting right.  So, now I'm stuck with 2 1/2 dozen not quite firm, but still yummy, No Bakes.  Nuts...
Wish me luck!

Another Good Sign

For those that don't know, the main reason I decided to go to a personal trainer was because of a bridesmaid dress.  I was blessed to be asked to stand up in my sister-in-law's wedding in October.  We were given the chance to pick out our own dress and the one I chose was strapless.  So, needless to say, I wanted to do some serious work on my arms!

A few weeks ago I had my first fitting with a seamstress.  The dress zipped up, which was great.  However, I guess I wasn't wearing it right.  The seamstress kept pulling it down.  And down.  Eventually, the portion of the dress that was just under my chest was now down close to my hips.  You can imagine that the lower the dress got, the tighter it got.  The way she had it, breathing was optional!

Anyway, I had my second and final fitting today.  My weight has gone down and up a little since then, so I was extremely nervous when I tried it on.  To my excitement, it fit.  It didn't just fit, it fit well!  In fact, itt fit better today than it did when she first fit me.  Very happy to see that even though the scale seems to not be in my corner right now, changes are still happening!

More Than Words

I don't think I can stress enough just how far a compliment can go.  I was working with my trainer this morning when I friend of mine came over to say hi.  I was taking a little breather in between sets, so we chatted for just a minute.
She ended our conversation by telling me that she could see that my hard work was paying off.

I really needed to hear that this morning.  The scale isn't being my friend right now.  The wedding ring is still spinning, so I know I'm still alright.  But, it's always nice to hear from someone else that your efforts are noticeable.  If you have the opportunity to commend someone for their efforts, please take it.  If you notice that they're looking better, say something.  You just might make their day!

The Week In Review

I'm not really sure what to think of this week.  I had a small gain, which I really can't account for.  I suppose it's probably due to my crazy week.  I fell short on my water, so I'm hoping that's the majority of the problem.  I guess time will tell... Due to some things going on in my life, my gym time was not what it usually is either.  I met with the trainer on Wednesday, but didn't get back to the gym again until Saturday.  Hopefully I can "right the ship" this week and get back
to losing!

Just One Of Those Days...

Yesterday was one of those days where eating fast food was unavoidable.  I was on the road the majority of the day, and on a pretty tight schedule, so fast food was really my only option.  I can normally do pretty well with my choices and, for the most part I did.  But, there are SO many calories in fast food!  Even skipping fries and not drinking pop, I still managed to go over my allotted calories for the day.

Now, if I would have been thinking ahead of time, I would have packed food and taken it with me.  But, when you are day before pay day and have no groceries in the house, that's not exactly an option.  I probably could have had bottles of water with me instead of having to get coffee twice.  But, when I'm driving across the state, by myself, I need something with a little kick to keep me awake!

So, it is what it is.  I hardly drank any water yesterday, I didn't work out, and I filled my day with Wendy's, Taco Bell and Tim Horton's.

There is good news though!  I'm over it!  It was one day.  I didn't go nuts at any time, it's just that the numbers added up quickly to throw me over my limit.  I can drink water to my heart's content today.  I'm not discouraged in the least and I'm looking forward to making today a much better day!

Shake, Rattle, and Roll

Today was my second hour long session with my trainer, and my arms are jell-o.  In fact, they're more than jell-o.  I don't think I even possess the words to describe how they feel right now.  But, I'll try.

We started with squats and hamstring exercises, which went very well.  Next we went on to arms.  (Now, I should mention that I have the privilege of being a bridesmaid for my sister-in-law in October and the dress I chose was strapless.  So, I need some serious help on my arms and my trainer knows this.)  Anyway, we start with good old fashioned push-ups.  I do 3 sets of theses.  I then go to the pull-up type things that I've mentioned before.  Two sets of those was all I had in me this morning.  It's important to note that this is the point when my arms start to shake.

We then go to another pull-up machine.  I've never done this one before, so that was kind of exciting.  But, needless to say, after those three exercises, my arms were shot.  However, he had one more thing up his sleeve.

We head to the mat for what I assumed would be abs of some kind.  Right and wrong.  Yes, my abs were worked, but not in the crunch-type way.  More in the ~ balance all your weight on your arms and your toes and do the plank position ~  way.  The arms were visibly shaking that this point, but I could continue.  I do a plank on each side, all the while my arms are still shaking.  I finally end up on hands and knees.  My left leg kicked back while my right arm was straight out in front of me.  At this point, my entire body was visibly shaking.  The exercise itself wasn't overly difficult.  I've done it before.  But there was something about today. I have never, in my life, ever shaken like that.  Visibly shaking.  I was pushed harder today than I have ever pushed myself before.  I kept shaking my head in amazement.  Amazed because that had never happened.  Amazed because that means that my body is engaging muscles that aren't usually used.  But mostly, amazed because that shaking meant that I was working harder than I had ever worked before.

Wedding Ring

As I sit here typing this, my wedding ring is spinning around my finger.  It's highly annoying because it bumps up against my pinky and then continues on until the diamond is underneath my hand.  But as annoying as it is, it's also a very good sign!  Not that my ring finger is the first place I want to lose weight, but the fact that it's spinning means that the weight is really coming off!

Don't get me wrong, I know that it's slowly coming off because I see it on the scale.  However, so far this week, I haven't done much.  That's why these other factors ~ such as a spinning wedding ring ~ are so important.  Even if the scale isn't co-operating, it doesn't mean that I'm not having a successful week.  The scale won't always tell the whole story.  But a spinning wedding ring, a pair of jeans in a smaller size, a sincere compliment from a friend... those are the other chapters that complete the weight loss book.

The Week In Review ~And Being Pushed Off the Wagon!

This has been a really good week.  I ended up losing .6 pounds for the week.  I also logged another 7,000 or so meters in rowing.  I'm almost half way down the river!  I managed to hit the gym every day this week and yesterday was my only day where my food choices weren't that great.  I feel like things are really clicking right now and I'm very excited!

On to being pushed off the wagon...  My family and I ended up having lunch at Subway yesterday afternoon.  I ordered one of the new Oven Crisp Chicken subs (which I absolutely would NOT recommend.  Blech!)  Anyway, I ordered it in a combo with (baked) chips and a drink.  I fully intended on getting an iced tea with my lunch.  Every Subway I've ever been to has fresh brewed iced tea.  Every one but this one.  So, I had a choice to make.  I could grab some Diet Coke, I could get some water from the fountain, or I could drink nothing.  After my first bite of the sandwich, I knew I couldn't drink nothing!  My husband's thought was water from the fountain.  A good idea, but I had a small issue with it.  I'd already paid for a drink!  I'm a little cheap that way and if I'm paying for a drink, I'm getting a REAL drink, not water.  So, Diet Coke it was.  And I have to say, after not having pop for over a year, Diet Coke wasn't as good as I remembered!  I think I drank about 1/3 of it and that was it.  Next time I check the drink options before I order!  I hope you all had a wonderful week and enjoy your Labor Day Weekend!

Day 2

Today was day 2 with my trainer and I'm starting to see a trend already.  Lots of push-ups and reverse rows.  Those 2 movements work muscles that I didn't even know I had!  I am seriously sore in places that I didn't even know were muscles.  I can already see that I'm going to have a love/hate relationship with these reverse rows.  I'm going to hate them because they're difficult.  They make me pull up a portion of my body weight.  But, I'm going to love them because I definitely feel like my arms are getting a great workout.  Also, I feel strong when I do them, so I know that the stronger I get, the more I'll be able to do and the more I'll benefit from them!

And, as I thought, I'm not eating nearly the calories that I was before.  I work so hard at the gym now that I just don't want to mess that up with poor food choices. Things are really starting to click now.  I know it's early in the weight training, so the results won't show up quite yet.  But, when they do, I can't wait to see how quickly the scale changes too!

No (Bake) Problem

I love to bake.  My kids love to help me bake.  This has both its ups and downs.  The "up" is that it's a great way to hang out and do something with my kids that doesn't involve a screen.  Another "up" is that it's teaching them about measuring, fractions, cooking, baking, and lots of other life skills that will serve them well in the future.  However, there are a few "downs" as well.  Once you've baked, your goodies are in your house.  They smell and look delicious.  Herein lies the dilemma...

Yesterday afternoon we made No Bake Cookies.  I love eating No Bakes as much as I love to make them.  So, what do I do when 3 dozen yummy cookies sit on my counter calling my name?  Naturally, I give them away!  Now, I won't pretend to be so strong that I didn't eat any, because I did.  I had 3 of them.  But that's it.  I did save 8 for the kids and hubby to eat today and tomorrow. But the rest have been packed up and are on their way to work with my husband!  It's the best of both worlds.  I can bake to my heart's content and my husband's co-workers love me. Win-win!

No Longer Afraid

Met with the trainer this morning for the first time and I LOVED IT!!!  I don't know what I was so afraid of!  Well, I take that back.  I do know what I was afraid of, it just wasn't an issue.  And that spark that I was hoping to find?  

I think I found it!  

Hello and Goodbye

Hello to almost 1,000 blog hits! And goodbye to a 10 pound range!  I won't mention which range it is, but I'm out of one and down into another.  I hope to never see it again!

I am down 1.2 pounds for this week!  That makes a total of 17.2 pounds.  It's actually only .2 pound difference from when I started this blog, but I'm still happy about it.  I'm happy because although I haven't had a significant change in my numbers since I started blogging, I feel a significant change in my attitude.  I feel a definite change in my feelings about the whole process.  When I started, I was focused on the week to week weight loss.  While I'm still interested in what I lose from one week to the next, now I'm much more focused on my daily progress.  I'm feeling a difference in my exercise as well.  Before, I was going to the gym and going through the motions.  Now, I'm exercising with a purpose.  I'm investing time (and money) in me.  With the help of a trainer, I hope to not just continue to lose the weight, but also to gain definition in my muscles and improve my overall strength.  I'm hoping that it will spark something in me that will lead to more
good things.

I'm saying Hello to my new, more positive approach to weight loss and Goodbye to the old ways and bad habits that have held me back!  I hope you all have a fabulous week!

Right Now

Something is different right now.  I can't quite put my finger on it, but I feel different...

Right now, this phase of my journey feels legitimate.
I'm not messing around.
Right now, I'm making some good food choices.
I'm logging small losses most days.
Right now, I've got my head in the game.
I'm not only talking the talk, I'm starting to walk the walk.

Part of it might be the fact that I dished out a bit of hard earned money for a trainer, so I don't want bad food choices to affect that.  Part of it might be that now that I'm blogging, it's all out there for everyone to see.   I'm not sure. I could speculate on a lot of different reasons.  But maybe, just maybe, I'm finally ready to do this.  Really ready to do this.  Maybe something finally clicked in my head.  Whatever it is, right now feels great!

Rowing Update and Other Stuff

The "Row the River" challenge is officially done at my gym. I didn't even come close!  But, as promised, I'll continue to update my progress until I actually finish this thing.  There will probably be snow on the ground when I get there, but I'll
get there!

I also, once again, beat my previous personal best on my rowing pace.  My previous best was 1:49/500m.  Today I topped out at 1:45!  Unfortunately, the instructor was right there at my side, watching my numbers, so he's aware of how hard I can work when I want to.  Nuts!  :-)

My eating seems to be much more under control this week, which is wonderful.  Despite Mother Nature, I actually anticipate a small loss this week!  We'll see how it goes...

A Done Deal

Well, after lots of talking and planning, I finally did it.  The money had been saved.  The personal trainer has been contacted.  The first appointment has been made.  And I'm scared to death!

In fact, as I was making the appointment this morning, I thought I was going to throw up!  I actually had a nervous stomach before I even got to the gym.  I knew that if I saw the trainer, I was going to make it official today.  And that thought alone was enough to make me feel sick.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely want to do this.  I need to do this.  I've been planning and saving for quite a while.  I really want to have a workout that's designed specifically for me.  I want to do things that will challenge me beyond what the machines at the gym can do.  I want to add variety to my workout.

I just don't want to be the center of attention.

I don't want to have someone watch me exercise.  I don't want to feel like I'm being judged.  I don't want to go back to being the fat girl in gym class with the skinny kids watching me.  I don't want to have to let someone else know my weight, BMI, and body fat composition.  My husband doesn't even know what I weigh, why would I want a trainer to?

But, thanks to my good friend (who is also a trainer), I am reminded that a good trainer isn't going to judge.  I am not the first, nor will I be the last person with a weight issue that they'll deal with.  And, I guarantee I'm not the heaviest person they've ever trained!  A good trainer will want me to succeed.  It actually makes them look good to have their clients excel. They're rooting for us to make positive progress because it means that they're doing their job.  So, that being said, I'm going to try to settle my nervous stomach and look forward to my appointment on Monday morning!

WARNING: Colorful Language Ahead

Mother Nature is a Bitch!

That sentence could be a post just by itself.  I truly think that we, as women, should get a once-a-month weigh-in pass.  It's so frustrating to weigh X pounds on Sunday and then weigh X+3 pounds the next day.  Seriously? While my food choices weren't perfect yesterday, I certainly didn't eat enough to gain 3 pounds today!  I can only credit this massive gain to one thing...
Mother Nature is a Bitch!

Normally, I enjoy being female.  I love that my body was built to bear children.  I love wearing beautiful dresses, make-up, pretty jewelry.  I love that I can take care of my kids in a way that their daddy can't.  I love that gentlemen will hold the door open for me.  There are lots of things to love about being a girl.  Except when Mother Nature is a Bitch...

The Week In Review

I'm glad this week is over!  I really didn't realize how much I rely on my exercise to help with my weight loss.  In fact, I ended up gaining .4 this week and I'm quite sure it is due to lack of exercise.  Luckily the gym opens tomorrow and I can get back in the swing of things.

I don't know what happened though.  I used to be highly motivated to exercise on my own.  I own more Richard Simmons, Tae Bo, Biggest Loser, Booty Sculpt, Walk Away The Pounds exercise videos than I care to count!  And I used to do them... religiously!  Now, not so much.  When I did them before, it was pre-children.  It wasn't a big deal to get up early in the morning to work out because no one had woken me up the night before.  And, once I got started, I didn't have to stop every three minutes to settle an argument, get someone a drink of water, or anything else in the long list of things that moms have to do.  It was much easier to carve out that time for myself.

Now, the gym is kind of like a reward for me.  I enjoy my time there because that's exactly what it is... MY time.  There are no kids allowed.  I can do my workout without interruptions.  I get to focus on myself.  I don't have to worry about tripping over a child, or a dog, or a toy.  I can't wait to get back.

Perfect

"You’re so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
Instead
So complicated
Look how big you’ll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough
I’ve done all i can think of
Chased down all my demons
see you do the same
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less then, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing you are perfect, to me"  

~Perfect by Pink


If you've never actually listened to the words of this song, I encourage you to do so.  For those of you who view this with the speakers off, you should turn on your speakers, scroll down to my playlist and play this song.  I've touched on it before, but we tend to be pretty hard on ourselves.  We dwell on the negative and forget to see the positives in ourselves.  It's so important to remember that no matter what, there is someone out there who thinks we're perfect just the way we are!

Hurry Up Monday!

Last night's dinner with my girlfriend was much better than my first attempt at Applebee's!  I ordered the Cajun Lime Tilapia from the Weight Watchers menu. Delicious!  I even had enough calories left over to have a Hot Fudge Sundae Shooter.  Super good!  All in all, a successful evening. :-)

I'm finding myself a little lost this week, however.  With the gym being closed, I had great intentions of working out at home with my daughter.  For lots of different reasons, that hasn't happened yet.  I am just not as motivated to workout when I'm home. My daughter and I do plan to do a 2 mile Walk Away The Pounds video today, so that will help.  But, otherwise, I have just found way too many others things to do and Richard Simmons isn't one of them.  Luckily today is Thursday and the gym re-opens on Monday~and it can't get here fast enough!

Armed With Information

You know the old saying "Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me"?  Well, those are my feelings toward Applebee's now.  As you might recall, I went there a couple weeks ago and ordered the Oriental Chicken Salad~to the tune of 1200 calories!  Well, a good friend of mine and I are going there for dinner tonight.  That salad is a mistake I won't make again.

You see, there's this fabulous invention called the internet ( insert sarcasm here...).  Most restaurants ~ including Applebee's ~ post their nutritional information online.  This time, I'll visit their site before I go.  This time, I'll know what I'm going to order before I walk in the door.   This time, armed with information, I'll make a good decision that will actually help my weight loss journey, not hurt it!

Sassy Meatloaf

It's been a little while since I shared a recipe, so I thought I'd share one now.  This is my absolute favorite, "go-to" dinner recipe.  I've made it more times than I can count and it's super yummy!!

Sassy Meatloaf (Weight Watchers Simply The Best Cookbook)
Makes 6 Servings

1 Pound Lean Ground Beef (10% Fat or Less)
1 1/4 Cup Low Sodium Salsa (I use regular salsa)
3/4 Cup Quick-Cooking Oatmeal
1 Carrot Shredded
2 Plum Tomatoes, Diced
1/2 Cup Coarsely Chopped Mushrooms

Preheat the oven to 350.  Spray a loaf pan with non-stick cooking spray.  In a large bowl, combine all ingredients and shape the mixture into a loaf.  Place the loaf in the pan. Bake about 1 hour and 5 minutes (until browned and a knife inserted in the center comes out clean and hot).  Let stand about 10 minutes before slicing.

Each serving is 183 calories, 8 grams total fat.  For you Weight Watchers, it's 4 points (on the old points system).  Because of the salsa, carrots, and tomatoes, it also counts as 1 vegetable!

Now, I should add that I hate tomatoes.  Really hate tomatoes.  So, when I make this recipe, I leave them out.  The beauty of this recipe is that you can sneak in lots of different vegetables.  They cook up nicely in the meatloaf and you don't even know they're there.  In fact, tonight I'm going to chop up some broccoli extra fine and cook that in there!  Just don't tell my husband ;-)  Enjoy!

The Week In Review

I'm doing the happy dance today!  I was down 2.4 pounds for the week!  I haven't had a week this good in a long time.  The size 12 jeans zipped up this afternoon and life is good :-)

Next week my gym will be closed for it's annual maintenance.  I'm definitely going to have to go old school as far as my workouts.  I guess it will be a good time to dust off Richard Simmons and give him another shot! :-)

Edited to Add:

In the interest of honesty and all, I should admit that I figured out that my math was a little off.  Either that or I forgot what my starting weight was, so I was off.  Anyway, I ended up being down 1.6 pounds, not 2.4...  A loss is still a loss, so I'm still happy! ;-)

A Personal Best

The last few weeks in rowing we've been doing some sprints. I had no clue you could sprint on a rowing machine, but apparently you can!  Anyway, the object is to get your pace as low as you can.  The numbers we typically look at are the time it takes for you to row 500 meters.  3:00/500m is a pretty relaxed pace for me.  2:30/500m is a little more challenging, but sustainable.  I've hit 2:00/500m, but that was rowing really hard, and it was for a short period of time.

With every sprint session, the goal is to lower your time.  The whole idea is that you get your pace as low as you can get it.  Once the pace starts creeping up, your sprint is over.  One class I was able to get it down to 1:56/500m.  Yesterday's class I was able to get my pace down to 1:55/500m. Again, working my butt off, but I definitely couldn't keep going at that rate for long.  Today, I got my pace down to 1:53/500m.  I was thrilled with that!  But, we did one last sprint before I left that class to go to spinning.  As it was towards the end of class, I fully expected my numbers to stay about that same range.  I have no idea how I did it, but I managed to get my pace down to 1:49!  I was exhausted, and at one point I said "Shit, why won't the number stop going down!" :-)  Unfortunately, the instructor asked what my pace was, so he now knows how hard I can work!  I'm not sure I'll ever get it that low again, but for now, I know I've done my personal best!

A Moral Victory

As predicted, there is no chance that I'll hit the goal of rowing 267,000 meters by August 14th.  It won't even be close.  But, that being said, I'm still pretty proud of myself.  I just crossed the 100,000 meter mark!  I think that, by itself, is a pretty big deal.  So, while I'm a little bummed that I couldn't devote more time to rowing to make the bigger goal on time, I'm thrilled to have hit the mark that I did.  Like promised, even though the challenge is almost over, I'm still going to continue to track my meters until I row the entire Kalamazoo River! :-)

What I Should Have Said

Back in the '90s, there was an episode of "Saved By The Bell" that featured "What I Should Have Said" theater. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, here's a little background...  The guys said some stupid things that upset the girls. So, in an attempt to apologize, they staged a "What I Should Have Said" theater and they re-did the scene the way the girls wanted it.

Well, today I'd like to present my version of "What I Should Have Said". Yesterday was our anniversary.  When asked where I wanted to go for dinner, I said "Let's get Mexican!"  What I should have said was, "Let's go somewhere where I can make a healthy choice."

When placing my order at the restaurant, I ordered a Chicken Enchilada.  What I should have said was, "I'll have an Enchilada, minus the extra cheese."

When ordering my drink, I asked for a Pina Colada.  What I should have said was, "I'll stick with water."

When we finished dinner early and had some time to kill before our next adventure,  I said "Let's go to Cold Stone Creamery and get some ice cream." What I should have said was, "Maybe if we get to our next destination early, they can squeeze us in."

Clearly, I could have made some much better choices yesterday.  However, I'm not going to dwell on it.  It's one day and I'm over it.  Time to hit the gym and work off that Pina Colada and extra cheese!

The Week In Review

Well, I managed to lose .6 pounds despite myself.  The week actually started off a little bit better, but as usual, the weekend killed me.  However, I'm not going to dwell on the dumb choices I made over the weekend, I'm just going to focus on the fact that I lost this week!

Bummer

I know that most people who read this are my Facebook friends.  However, this bears repeating, so I'll share it here...

Applebee's, you broke my heart.  Our family went out for dinner last night.  My 9 year old doesn't eat off the kids menu much anymore, so he and I took advantage of the 2 for $20 deals that Applebee's offers.  They give you about 7 or 8 options that qualify.  I knew automatically that the cheesy pasta was out, but I thought the Oriental Chicken Salad (grilled, mind you) would be a fairly healthy option.  As soon as we got home, I sat down to plug in all my information on my loseit.com account.  That salad came up on the list of foods and I about fell out of my chair.  1240 calories!  1240 calories?  My calorie balance for the day is only around 1700 calories!  I really didn't want to spend 1200 of those calories on one salad!  I guess next time I'll go with the steak!

A Deadly Combination...

Confession time...

I'm cheap.  And, at times I'm weak.  You put those two things together and it can make a deadly combination.  Yesterday was a prime example of that.

I was really craving ice cream. I've been craving it for a long time.  Up until yesterday I was able to fight off that craving. However, I finally gave in.

There are a number of choices that I could have made that would have made my decision a little more "weight loss" friendly.  My first choice was to go to our local ice cream place and order the Peanut Butter Cup Flurry that I really wanted.  That would have killed my craving for ice cream and it would have ended yesterday evening.  But, I'm cheap and didn't want to shell out $7 for ice cream for my hubby and I.

My second choice was to just get some Skinny Cow individual ice cream cups. That too would have taken care of my craving and would force portion control. But, by the time you buy a few of those, you're down over $5.  Again, last night I was cheap.

So, I went for option "C", which was to go and get a half gallon of the store brand ice cream that was on sale for $2.50.   While I did save money, it was a very bad idea for a few reasons.  First, it's amazing how much ice cream you can cram into a bowl.  Don't ask me how I know.  Second, it's still here.  With the other two options, they would have been gone and done with in one night.  Now, I've got a partially eaten half gallon of mint chocolate chip sitting in my freezer, calling out my name.  And, in my cheapness, there's no way I'll throw it out and waste that money!

I guess the silver lining in all this is that right now I don't want it.  And, I suspect the kids will be having ice cream cones for dessert tonight, just to help me get rid of it!

Well, That Was Awkward...

Before I start with my awkward story for the day, I'll let you know that I rowed 5,000 meters this morning.  Again, there's NO chance that I'll make the goal by August 14th, but I'm going to keep plugging away and tracking my meters until I do get there!  Now, on to the awkwardness...

I know I've mentioned that I was a Weight Watcher member for years.  I left for a number of reasons.  The first reason was that I was bored.  I'd been counting points since 1998 and I was just tired of it.  I had been doing it for 10 years and I really felt like I'd taken away everything I was going to get from WW.  Secondly, I was stuck.  I seemed to be playing with the same few pounds for months.  Not unlike what I'm doing now...  But, the third reason was money.  Yes, I'm still struggling with the same few pounds, but it's not costing me $12 a week to do it.  Now, don't get me wrong, $12 a week isn't horrible.  But, I felt like my money would be better spent on a gym membership, which I did.  The final reason I left Weight Watchers is a little more personal...

I was having a particularly hard week and it took every ounce of energy I had to just show up at the meeting that morning.  During class our leader asked if anyone had anything they wanted to talk about, so I chimed in. (Now, let me say right away that I loved my leader.  She had a genuine concern for everyone in the class and she really wanted us to do well.  So when I continue, I want you to know that she was never the problem!)  Anyway, I was telling the class how I was really struggling.  When I lost weight the first time I was 23, worked full time and had no children.  This time around I was a 30+ year old, stay-at-home mom and it was completely different.  I never knew how much harder it was to lose weight after you turn 30 and have a few children.  If I didn't mention it before, I was REALLY struggling.

I'm almost in tears talking about everything and I hear snickers from the back of the room.  They're laughing at me.  Then the comments start.  "If you think it's hard when you're 30, wait until you're 60!".  "You're worried about turning 30... you have no idea..."  I think you get the picture.  I was devastated.  Was I 60 years old?  No.  Did I have as much weight to lose as they did?  No.  Were my struggles just as real?  Absolutely!  The instructor tried to "reel them in".  She tried to get everyone re-focused.  She stressed the fact that everyone's struggles are legitimate, no matter where they are in their journey.  But, the damage was already done.  I was looking for re-assurance.  I was looking for inspiration.  I wasn't looking to be laughed at.  So, I bit my tongue to stop the tears from flowing.  I sat quietly through the rest of the class and I never went back.

I tell you all that background to tell you that I saw my WW leader today.  I was dropping my daughter off at dance camp and there was a WW meeting going on.  The same meeting I used to go to 3 years ago.  It was nice to see her and she said she thought about me often.  I was hoping to be at my goal when I ran into someone from Weight Watchers, but that wasn't the case.  We had a nice little chat and I told her that finances were the main reason I left.  I decided to spend my money on a gym membership and that I was going about weight loss on my own.  We chatted for a few more minutes and she had to go back in to start the meeting.  It was a little awkward because I knew the real reason I left her class.  I think deep down she knew it too.  

The Week In Review

Something stinks!

I should tell you that I had just written a post on how the past week went.  I was going to tell you that I was down about a pound last week, which I was.  Let me repeat the word was.  I guess it was a mistake to step on the scale this morning because it wasn't friendly.  I can honestly say that I don't know what the heck is going on! As of yesterday, I was down roughly one pound.  Now, not so much.  Now my scale is telling me that I'm up about a half pound for the week.  What?!?  How does that happen?

My guess is that I might have eaten a little too late yesterday.  Or, I might not have gotten enough water yesterday, so that could translate into a gain.  I don't know what's going on, but I know that it stinks!  If my guesses are right, it shouldn't be hard to correct and I should see different results very soon.  If not, I guess I have some serious research to do.  Let's hope that it's an easy fix.

Lose It

For quite a while now, I've been using the website fitday.com to help me track my weight, my calories, my exercise, everything.  And, for the most part I've been successful.  Whatever set-backs I've had have had nothing to do with that website.  Any set-back I've had if from my lack of trying.

Well, yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine and she mentioned another site that I might want to try.  So I checked it out yesterday to see if I wanted to switch things up a bit.  The site is loseit.com .  It's got a couple of features that the other one doesn't have. First, it has some cute graphics.  Clearly not the most important thing as far as losing weight, but if it entertains me, it will hold my interest a lot longer!  Secondly, you have the ability to have "friends" that you can follow and encourage.  They won't ever know your actual weight (which is fine by me!) but they can see how you're doing.  Since I decided to put my efforts all out there in this blog, I definitely like the idea of being able to follow and encourage others. :-) So, as good as fitday.com has been to me, I think I might give loseit.com a try. I'm all for changing things up to keep them interesting.  If anyone is already on there or would like to join with me, please leave a comment and we'll get hooked up!

Opening Old Wounds

This whole deal with not wanting to do that fitness test on Friday has really thrown me for a loop.  The whole situation had me feeling feelings that I hadn't felt in years.  Feelings that I thought I'd long gotten over.  Feelings that made me question the confidence that I thought I had.  And, I really don't like it.

In the grand scheme of life, it was just a fitness test.  But when something like that instantly takes you back to being the fat kid in high school gym class, it is clearly something more.  The scary thing is that I really don't know why I felt that way.  It might have been the fear of being judged.  It might have been the fear of failing.  It might have been a fear of being the center of attention.  I'm guessing that it was a combination of all those things and probably more.

I just can't let this get me side-tracked.  I have to re-convince myself that I'm not that fat girl in high school anymore.  I'm working really hard to improve my health and I've made a lot of progress the last few years.  No one is there to judge me.  Even if I fail, at least I can say I tried.  While I might have had a short, painful trip down memory lane, I need to keep my eyes on the prize and stay in the present.  If I allow the feelings from my past to invade my present, they're going to continue to haunt me in the future.

Facing My Fears

I have another confession to make...  I'm kind of a pain in the ass!  I don't mean to be.  In fact, the episode that I'm thinking of was done purely out of fear.  Fear of failure to be exact.

I had mentioned that after a rowing class, we plugged in numbers and I came up less than poor in my effort, yada, yada, yada.  I also mentioned that we were insured by the instructor that the site was wrong and that in fact our efforts were very good.  I actually had a meeting scheduled with the trainer so that he could re-evaluate things.  I show up for the appointment fully expecting to plug some numbers into a different program and have the results spit out within a few minutes.  No problem.

When I get there for my evaluation, he clicks the mouse on the computer to start the program.  I'm then asked if I hear the beat on the computer.  I do.  I'm then asked if I see the step in front of me.  I did, but I got a little feisty asking what in the heck the step had to do with the rowing challenge!  Well, I put two and two together as I'm told I had to step on the step, keeping the beat from the computer.  This will last about 3 minutes, then my heartbeat will be taken and we'll go from there.  Really?  Because all I wanted to do was plug in some numbers and go about my business.  I didn't want any part of doing an activity and then have to be judged on it again!  So I said that I really had no desire to do it.  He really did try to talk me into it.  He tried to tell me that with all the rowing, spinning and step I do, my evaluation should be really good and I can see how much progress I've made.  I still wasn't convinced, so I didn't do it.  I joked around a little bit, then left the fitness office.

Looking back now, I feel bad about it.  The trainer stayed there specifically to do this test with me to help build my confidence.  Instead, I let the fear of failure get the best of me.  I was so worried that I'd "fail" the test or have rotten numbers.  I was afraid I'd find out that all my hard work hadn't done any good and I was still horribly out of shape.  I wasted his time, which was very selfish.

So, I've decided to bite the bullet and do it.  I'll start off with a necessary apology.  I'm then going to come clean and fess up to the fact that I was scared.  I don't know how on earth I expect myself to be able to train with a trainer when I can't even do this simple thing in front of one!  I need to stop thinking that I'm going to be judged by someone more physically fit than I am.  Those trainers are there to help me, not judge me.  I swear, I felt like I was back in high school and the skinny girls were watching the rest of us exercise!  Not at all what was happening, but that's so how I felt.

So, despite the ridiculous butterflies that will be in my stomach, I'm going to pull up my big-girl panties and take the test.  Fear won't get in my way again!

Yeah For Me!

I'm going to toot my own horn for a minute.  I went out to dinner with some friends this evening and I actually didn't overdo it.  In fact, I ordered downright healthy!  Baked fish and seasonal veggies.  Not too shabby! ;-)  Now, I should confess that I did have a martini.  But, I think that baked fish and veggies more than make up for whatever calories were in that drink.  Today was a success, bring on tomorrow!

Back To Basics

Here we go again...  I'm afraid that I'm coming across as a broken record right now.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to blog about something that I've been saying for several weeks now.  But, since we're all in this together, here goes...  I need to get back to basics, again.  I've got to do something to get my eating under control.

The thing is, I'm not eating horribly.  I'm still just not eating to lose weight.  I'm pretty sure the problem is a lack of keeping a food journal.  Why is that so important?  Frankly, I have no idea.  But, I know that it is.  For the last several months, I've tried to just keep a mental idea of what I'm eating.  To quote Dr. Phil, "How's that workin' for ya'?"  Well, clearly it isn't!  So, it's back to basics.  I'm going back to keeping track of everything I'm eating, keeping track of the calories I burn working out and tracking my weight every day to see my progress.

I've done this all before, as I'm sure many of you have.  So, why will this time be different?  I don't know that it will, but I'm hopeful.  I have to remain hopeful, otherwise I'm bound to just give up.  Giving up isn't an option because I'll be damned if I gain back everything I've lost to this point!  So, as much as I really don't want to do it, I'm back to basics.  Back to what I know will work.  Back to being vigilant about my eating.  Here's hoping it pays off!

The Week In Review

Although the scale didn't show any progress this week, I'm claiming a moral victory for myself.  There is a dress that has been in my closet for years.  Lots and lots of years.  Anyway, I pull it out every once in a while to see if I can comfortably wear it yet.  I've been able to get it on for a long time, but it's been uncomfortable.  Particularly in the stomach region.  I've tried it on for different occasions lately but it still didn't fit right.  Yesterday I put it on wondering if I could wear it to a wedding.  Finally, success!!  It fit right.  It fit comfortably.  Score one for moral victories!

Better Than I Thought

I'm happy to report that my rowing efforts were NOT less than poor!  Evidently the instructor tried to catch me yesterday after class, but I was in a hurry and scooted out of there pretty quickly.  Anyway, he ended up sending an e-mail to the contact on the website because he didn't think our numbers were right either. As it turns out, he had entered our (mine and another woman) information as men.  Well no wonder!  I expect that my effort might be registered less than a man of my same age.  The website admin also said that they were having some glitches with it, so any information we got from it might not be completely accurate.
I knew I wasn't less than poor!

In other news, I decided to challenge myself a little this morning.  After a 30 minute rowing class, I went straight to my spin class for 45 minutes.  My legs are now officially jell-o!

Less Than Poor

I really debated whether or not to go to rowing today.  I was going out of town this morning and it was going to be tricky to squeeze in a workout and a shower before I had to leave.  But, the good little weight loser that I am, I went to the gym anyway.  Given the outcome of my class, I would have rather stayed home!

The class itself was fine.  The instructor had us time ourselves while we rowed 2,000 meters.  He said it should take roughly 10 minutes.  I finished my meters right about 9:50, which he seemed to be pleased with.  In fact, he made a point to tell everyone in the class that their times were very good.  So, we were all very pleased with ourselves.  Then said instructor had an idea.  We all followed him into the fitness office.  Evidently there was some website that would evaluate your time and tell you how your performance ranks among other rowers.  The first thing we had to do was enter our time.  The next thing we needed to do was enter our weight.  The first words out of my mouth were "Hell No"!  I eventually got over myself and, after they all promised to turn around and not look, I entered my weight.  Then a number popped up.  14.9 to be exact.  The next step was to look on a chart to find our age/gender category.  So I did.  The following is the account of what happened next...

Instructor:  "So, how did you do?"
Me:  "Poor"
Instructor:  "What?  Really?  Look again."
Me:  "Oh, you're right.  I was actually less than poor!  Poor is below 19.0 and I'm a 14.9, so I'm way less than poor.  Fabulous."

And to think, I almost didn't go to class to learn that this morning.

Staying On The Wagon

I stopped drinking pop on Mother's Day last year.  There was no particular reason for doing it, I just felt like I was depending on my Diet Coke too much.  So, I stopped drinking it, cold turkey.  I had originally planned on just giving up Diet Coke.  However, I didn't want to start drinking the sugary pops, so I just stopped all together.  And, I have to say, it's been much easier than I thought it would be.  I did have one slip up last year when I went to Subway about a year ago.  I had every intention of grabbing some iced tea.  However, I went on auto-pilot and filled my cup with Diet Coke.  Unfortunately, I didn't realize it until after I left, so I ended up drinking it.

Fast forward to today.  It is an absolutely beautiful day today, so a trip to the Root Beer Stand sounded like a great idea to the kids and I!  I fully planned on getting some diet root beer.  After all, it's not a trip to the Root Beer Stand if you don't get root beer!  I placed the order, and once again, I went on auto-pilot to order my drink. But this time, instead of ordering a diet root beer ~ which really sounded delicious ~ I ordered a lemonade.  Lemonade?  Who drinks lemonade at the Root Beer Stand?  Well, evidently, I do!  And I felt much better for it.  Now, I did have a hot dog, but I skipped on the chips and had my lemonade.  All in all, good decisions made today! In other news, I have another 5,000 meters to add to my rowing challenge. :-)